The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 per cent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the business plan proposed by the manager of Rialto Movie Theatre, the author concludes that the Rialto Movie Theatre has to either encounter major changes or close the theatre. The author compares the Rialto Movie Theatre with the recently opened Apex movie theatre. However, the author has made some assumption that if not substantiated will dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the author claims that Apex theatre has featured facilities like video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, a proper sound system that trending that has to be included in the Rialto Movie Theatre as well. However there is no proof that after including these things there is a good number of people that are preferring to go to Apex theatre. First, there is no evidence to say that including these things in renovation can attract more people. Second, It might be a business plan followed by Apex theatre to attract more people because it is lying on the outskirts. And Rialto theatre may not need such unwanted attractions if it is in the downtown location. If either of the case is true, then the author claims in include the sound system, plush carpeting and seats, etc. are not warranted and his suggestion may be considered as not overly persuasive.
Second of all, the author presumes that, 85 per cent of the people already confirmed that due to increase in the ticket prices they would reduce to prefer to go the movies and they may not go not more than five times. However, there is a possibility that the people who participated in the survey might have low income holders, old age and high working people and their preferences are chosen to decide that 85 percent might not frequently visit the theatre. There is another possibility that movie enthusisast weren’t surveyed about the same. If either of these scenario holds true, the the author’s contention to renovate Rialto Theatre does not hold water.
Finally, even if it true that there will be in a decrease in the number of movie goers, there no evidence to prove that renovating Rialto Theatre will attract more people despite of decrease in the number of audience. It is likely that people who like the atmosphere of Apex threats would prefer to go that even if the Rialto Theatre is remade. Although remake of the Rialto Theatre might be a good idea, following the ideas that were included in Apex theatre may not be the best possible business plan because Apex theatre has it own infrastructure and architectural plans that were used based on the trends of last year. There is a possibility that the trends have been change and following the apex trees as it is might not be a best possible idea.
In conclusion, it is possible that the business plan suggested by the author might bring back the glory that Rialto Theatre had. However, as it stands now, the argument relies three unfounded assumption that renders the coacultion unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. Thus, the author must add additional evidence that must support his arguments and recommend that the changes that should be preferred by Rialto Theatre should be similar to that of Apex theatre.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 13 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2569 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.757 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.478 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.92 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.362 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 217, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ed in the Rialto Movie Theatre as well. However there is no proof that after including ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 315, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...s there is a good number of people that are preferring to go to Apex theatre. First, there is ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 584, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...If either of these scenario holds true, the the author’s contention to renovate Rialto ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 584, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...If either of these scenario holds true, the the author’s contention to renovate Rialto ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 21, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'trues'?
Suggestion: trues
...es not hold water. Finally, even if it true that there will be in a decrease in the...
^^^^
Line 4, column 531, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'owns'?
Suggestion: owns
...siness plan because Apex theatre has it own infrastructure and architectural plans ...
^^^
Line 4, column 730, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...ng the apex trees as it is might not be a best possible idea. In conclusion, it ...
^
Line 5, column 192, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'assumption' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'assumptions'.
Suggestion: assumptions
...ow, the argument relies three unfounded assumption that renders the coacultion unpersuasiv...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 426, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at should be preferred by Rialto Theatre should be similar to that of Apex theatr...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 29.0 13.6137724551 213% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2624.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 539.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86827458256 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81833721656 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53342082135 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421150278293 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 813.6 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.3518123394 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.952380952 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6666666667 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167599985694 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0607962931459 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0652591453502 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.116262151351 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.057945950881 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.