The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Movie Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument above discusses the business strategy a manager would like to accomplish. It describes the new features that are introduced in a new mall and the need to reciprocate these features in the Rialto Movie Theater. It also shows a survey where majority of people are displeased with the high prices of the movie theater. Though at first glance the argument looks clear and purposeful, on closer analysis it becomes obvious that the author never answered some important questions.
The reasons for the decline in audience in Rialto Movie Theater is unclear. Is it the outmoded style the movie theater adopted as architecture or the bad service it provides or the lack of features. They also did not give any information on the features that are already available in the movie theater at present. No conclusive reason is stated that could point the potential reason for the downfall of a movie theater that lasted for more than five decades.
Even the claim that the theater is on the way to bankrupt is not supported properly. They have not stated whether there are less number of customers compared to previous years or there is a loss with no change in the number of customers. This ambiguous statements cannot be held accountable to support the need to incorporate the same features as the other new movie theaters unless it is proved that the reason for downfall is lack of features and outmoded style of architecture.
Adding to this, the survey clearly states that 85 percent of the people do not feel comfortable going to a movie by spending more than they can afford. If this statement is assumed to be true then it strengthens the notion to abandon the incorporation of additional features. Inculcating features such as video arcade, plush carpeting and seats and good sound system costs a lot. Their maintenance demands the increase of price of the tickets or the interval snacks like popcorn. This would be counter productive and push away people as stated by the given survey. If the survey is proved to be wrong then the acceptance of the manager notion would be high.
Furthermore, the argument does not answer whether the new mall Apex Theater is experiencing a profit or loss. With all the additional features and posh architecture, if the new mall is experiencing a loss then the whole argument loses its credibility. Additionally, no information is available about the pricing system in the new theater or the reviews given by people appreciating or disregarding it. If the mall is found to have more profit and people appreciation than the Rialto movie theater, it becomes a feasible point to support the manager claims.
Taking all the above questions into account it would be a foolish action to invest in more features without clear surveys and more information. The movie theater is a source of entertainment and hence should strive to attract more and more people. It should take reasonable actions and well versed strategies to establish this task. Rushing into things because they are the present trends without proper research can often be harmful and unnecessary. Because as people say "Trends always change". Hence the manager needs to do more research for his plans.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2623 1500
No. of Different Words: 248 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.857 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 199 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.532 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.267 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 152, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... by spending more than they can afford. If this statement is assumed to be true th...
^^
Line 4, column 565, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y people as stated by the given survey. If the survey is proved to be wrong then t...
^^
Line 6, column 508, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... say 'Trends always change'. Hence the manager needs to do more research f...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, regarding, so, then, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2681.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 540.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96481481481 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74037722815 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 837.9 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.1524269445 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.2962962963 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.85185185185 5.70786347227 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213885163795 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632081540236 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0614880993478 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121917576834 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0690290400668 0.0628817314937 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.