28.09.2017 It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be.
Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Include any relevant examples from your experience.
Nowadays family ties have become weaker than in the past. Below some reasons of the trend and ways to revolt it will be discussed in details.
To begin with, the alteration of the role played by a family in a life of a contemporary citizen is caused by several reasons. Firstly, industrialization that happened in the XIX century separated families in the rapidly evolving world. In the past families usually live in the same villages or towns for generations, often in a house that was shared with an extended family but the technological revolution encouraged young adults to seek a better life in cities and to move closer to industrial centers. Secondly, working on plants and mills allowed individuals to make enough money to live independently from their relatives. To illustrate, historically people were badly dependent on products and goods that were produced by the family but having a steady income gave individuals an indispensable opportunity to buy all needed items, food and the role of a family decreased. In other words, industrialization weakened connections among family members.
However, some actions may be implemented to address the worrisome situation. Primarily, promotion of family role at school may bring a desirable result. In fact, there are formative years when child’s personality is being formed and information that is absorbed in that period shapes kid’s worldview. So, if a crucial role of a family were propagated at school, the attitude of offspring to a family would be steered in the right direction. Furthermore, modern technology provides folks with a possibility to stay in touch with mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings without traveling. Usage of Skype, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to converse with relatives could bring members of a family closer to one another. Thus, advocating the importance of family at the school system and using the internet might reverse the trend.
To sum up, cooling of relationships among relatives is caused by technological advancement but it appears the trend may be remodeled if pupils learn the significance of family in a large scale at the right time.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Primarily, promotion of family role at school may bring a desirable result.
Primarily, the promotion of family roles at school may bring a desirable result.
Primarily, promoting family roles at school may bring a desirable result.
Usage of Skype, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to converse with relatives could bring
The usage of Skype, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook to converse with relatives could bring
cooling of relationships among relatives is caused by technological advancement
the cooling of relationships among relatives is caused by technological advancement
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flaws:
better not to repeat words in one sentence, look at 'of' and 'by':
the alteration of the role played by a family in a life of a contemporary citizen is caused by several reasons.
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sentences are too long:
In the past families usually live in the same villages or towns for generations, often in a house that was shared with an extended family but the technological revolution encouraged young adults to seek a better life in cities and to move closer to industrial centers.
historically people were badly dependent on products and goods that were produced by the family but having a steady income gave individuals an indispensable opportunity to buy all needed items, food and the role of a family decreased.
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better to use active voice instead of passive voice if possible:
To sum up, cooling of relationships among relatives is caused by technological advancement
suggested:
To sum up, technological advancements cool down relationships among relatives.
when there are a lot of passive voices, it will give negative results.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.107 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.999 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.518 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, in fact, in other words, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 7.30460921844 82% => OK
Pronoun: 8.0 24.0651302605 33% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 41.998997996 155% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1821.0 1615.20841683 113% => OK
No of words: 345.0 315.596192385 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27826086957 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09768971647 2.80592935109 110% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 176.041082164 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.6 0.561755894193 107% => OK
syllable_count: 591.3 506.74238477 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 5.43587174349 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.2380693582 49.4020404114 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.8125 106.682146367 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5625 20.7667163134 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.0625 7.06120827912 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214464739959 0.244688304435 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0707259639197 0.084324248473 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0328072418632 0.0667982634062 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12619783741 0.151304729494 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0316457408145 0.056905535591 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.67 8.58950901804 113% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.