Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The writer of this editorial is expressing his opinions about deer are unable to migrate from one island to another for food and starving to death, consequently, population of deer is declining. To support his argument the author provides evidence, that the food on which deer survive is available on different island and deer migrate from one island to another island during winter, when there is a cover of ice over sea. But due to global warming, the ice is not forming and deer are unable to move from island to island. However, author needs more evidence on, why the deer population has declined.
To begin with, the author's argument is based on reports from local hunters. Nonetheless, are these hunters representing all of the Canada's artic region or are they from just one particular island? Is there any census for the population of deer? If these hunters are just from one region or a particular island, it is possible that deer only in that area have declined as a result of hunting. Also, the deer may happen to burgeon on other islands or regions which have not been reported by locals.
Moreover, if global warming has stopped deer from migrating from one island to another. It may happen that deer have moved to a new region for food, more towards north where it is more cold. Also, the reports from hunters are how old? Are they recently reported or the reports are from which season of the year? In this situation, when the locals reported the decline in deer population during winter, the deer normally are not found in this region during this time of year but they migrate to this region during summer.
Although, the written argument is categorically unconvincing, the author could have strengthened his position were he to provide evidence showing that, in other regions too the deer population have decreased. Also, when survey was conducted, large number of dead bodies of deer were found on an island stranded. There were no plants left on that island on which deer could survive. In addition, autopsy showed that the reason for death was hunger.
To recapitulate, the author presents an interesting but a flawed argument. He has failed to consider factors that have a significant bearing on his claims. Had he provided more evidence as mentioned above, the argument would have been persuasive. As it stands, the author's argument is too weak to be true. Hence, I remain unconvinced.
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| 2023-07-17 | okazaki11 | 72 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 1945 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.721 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.422 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.146 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ion has declined. To begin with, the authors argument is based on reports from local...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 121, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...theless, are these hunters representing all of the Canadas artic region or are they from j...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...have been persuasive. As it stands, the authors argument is too weak to be true. Hence,...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, then, in addition, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2007.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8713592233 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52725155538 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466019417476 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.7014581836 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2608695652 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9130434783 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.30434782609 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311384565629 0.218282227539 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0956504897279 0.0743258471296 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0840637261375 0.0701772020484 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17726782086 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103308829359 0.0628817314937 164% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.3799401198 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.67 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.