The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
The store owner believe that, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has decreased dramatically due to increase in skateboarders inside Central Plaza. To support his argument, prohibiting skateboarding in plaza will bring sales to a high, which was two years back. Though the underlying issue certainly has merit, because of lack of evidence, weak assumption, and vague language the store owner's argument remain unsubstantiated and deeply flawed. Some of the flaws in the store owner's argument are as follows.
To begin with, was there any change in the economic scenario of the country or people living in same city as Central Plaza? Suppose if, country has been hit by recession and people living in city have lost their jobs. So shoppers will not have enough disposable income to spend on non-essential goods. Had it been given that, the economic scenario is same and still shoppers are decreasing in plaza, would have made the recommendation stronger.
Additionally, it has been mentioned that the litter and vandalism has increased throughout the plaza, is it because of skateboarders or due to some changes in cleaning policy of Central Plaza, was not mentioned. Although, skateboarders are banned, but the maintenance staff, who has been clearing the dustbins, are doing so every alternate day rather than daily. Due to which there is unpleasant odor inside plaza and shoppers are eschewing to shop from Central Plaza.
Moreover, was there any store, now closed, which was particularly attracting customers and due to which other shops were enjoying the benefit? Or is there any new mall or plaza which has been opened nearby, in recent two years, and giving better facilities? Giving free parking, better discounts on retail products may attract the shoppers to shop from new venture and thus decreasing footfall in plaza.
Although the written argument is categorically unconvincing, the store owner could strengthen his position were he to provide other necessary details. Whether, any new mall opened or not, there is no change in economic scenario, there are no changes in maintenance structure of the plaza. If store owner were to provide more details of connection between skateboarder and sales of shops, then the argument reasoning would be significantly improved. However, without these changes, the argument is implausible and the reasoning is faulty.
In conclusion, the store owner presents an interesting but a flawed argument. He has failed to consider factors that have significant bearing on his claims. Had the store owner presented the details above the argument would have been persuasive. As it stands the store owner's argument is too weak to be true. Hence, I remained unconvinced.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2220 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.103 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.764 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.913 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.317 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
...ssumption, and vague language the store owners argument remain unsubstantiated and dee...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 449, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
...main unsubstantiated and deeply flawed. Some of the flaws in the store owners argument are ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 480, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
... flawed. Some of the flaws in the store owners argument are as follows. To begin wi...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 247, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he argument would have been persuasive. As it stands the store owners argument is ...
^^
Line 11, column 270, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
...been persuasive. As it stands the store owners argument is too weak to be true. Hence,...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, thus, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2292.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 435.0 441.139720559 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26896551724 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8411468119 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.508045977011 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 708.3 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.1286175406 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.652173913 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9130434783 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.95652173913 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254689578432 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0802646403685 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0746008279271 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138304970512 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0629359721743 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.