The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin a medicine used to treat headaches Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates for t | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author of the study claims that after adding salicylates in food will continue to contribute in steady decline of the number of headaches suffered by average citizens. The author reaches at this claim after considerations of several evidences in the study. However, before the author's evidences are accounted as fact for his argument, we should consider several other evidences too.

To begin with, even though salicylates are the members of the same chemical family as aspirin, but does it provide same results as aspirin in order to fight headaches? For example, alcohol families, there are several compounds such as ethanol, benzol, methanol that belongs to alcohol family. However, all of them are not safe for human consumption and all of them does not help in achieve the same task as alcohol, some of them are even deleterious to human beings too. Similarly, salicylates being part of aspirin family does not mean that it will contribute in mitigating headaches. If above is true, author's argument is weakened.

Moreover, author claims that due to increase in salicylates in commercial use of food production, there has been steady decline the average number of headaches reported by participants in twenty year study. However, is the reduction only due to increased use of salicylates? Can there be another factors such as, reduction in pollution or improving personal health by physical activities? For instance, twenty years ago there was a factory which was releasing noxious gases in air and due to which several people living in near vicinity complained of headaches. On the other hand, people in order to fight the pollution started wearing masks as precaution and over the due course of twenty year, the factory had to shut down its operation. Also, the air quality index of Mentia is also improving slowly, which may have been the cause for reduction in headaches. If above is true, then author's prediction of steady decline due to salicylates does not hold water.

Finally, the decrease of headaches was seen in which type of headaches? Was it migraine, headaches due to stress, or headache due to pollution? Also, how many people at present are complaining of headache in Mentia? It may happen that, over the course of twenty years, the cause of headache, pollution, has decreased to a huge extent and there is no room for further reduction in its level. Due to which author's prediction of further steady decline will be negated. Also, the number of people now complaining over all in the city of Mentia are mostly due to sickness and not general headaches.

To recapitulate, the author of the study presents a flawed prediction and has failed to consider specific evidences for his claims. Had he provided more in depth study of his evidences, his claim would have been persuasive. As it remains, author's argument is too weak to be true. Hence, I remain unconvinced.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, hence, however, if, may, moreover, similarly, so, then, for example, for instance, such as, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2423.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 481.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03742203742 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71440294871 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465696465696 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 779.4 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.4553095027 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.92 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.24 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.76 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223223811806 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643686155555 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0744745341563 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119372818772 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.049479657603 0.0628817314937 79% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, hence, however, if, may, moreover, similarly, so, then, for example, for instance, such as, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments