Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect’s buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need for student housing, part of the building can be used as office space.
The argument states that is Claitwon university has a problem with having an affordable housing as well as funding this house, as a solution to this problem, the university seeks to hire a well-known architect to add such a asthetic touch to this building. As a result of such solution, the the income will increase from tourists visiting to the building and consequently will cover the costs that will be charged. This argument is rife of several holes, first the author should provide some answers to the following questions to help the reader understands the whole picture for the current situation.
First, the argument says that the university’s plan to fund the the building is hiring a famous architect. Although hiring such a good arichitect has a great benefit in creating a beautiful building, the author needs to answer the question, how much the arichtect will be payed to build such an attractive building. As the argument mentioned that the university will hire a famous architect that could cost them much and the purpose to provide the students an affordable building will not the case. The author should provide us how much will pay the sudents in the case of the building costs more? If the above scenario is valid that means the university’s purpose to provide the students with an affordable housing will not happen and they may be compelled to pay more to cover such cost spent on the building.
Secondly, there is another unwarranted assumption the argument supposed, that is the income which will come from the tourists visiting to the building will be enough to cover the building costs. Before making such assumption, the author should provide information about how many tourists come to visits such kind of building and how much the tickets will be? Upon the previous example of hiring such famous arichtect will be costy this also perhaps causes costy tickets. If the university had to increase the the tickets’ cost this will consequently cause decreasing in tourists numbers come to visit the buliding and will not cover the building cost. Even if the tourists will come to visit although the tickets are costy, the author doesn’t mention how the tourists will visit the building, is there any place inside the building they should come in so they have to pay to visit? Otherwise, there is no reason to pay tickets to visit, simply, they can look at the building from out side as the cases in all the historic buildings on Rome. Thus, all these questiones should be answered to make the university’s plan persausive enough to be done.
Thirdly, the author mentioned at the end of the argument that because of the building will be large there will be a place to allot for office. This mentioend point is not related to the scope of the problem and will add nothing to solve it. The author should clear what is the purpose for adding office? Is it has any benefits in increasing the housing income or any reflection on making the housing affordable. Even if this office will provides such benefits, the author firstly should be sure if will be any empty space remains to allot to the office or not. Maybe because of the building is large the university would have to occupy all the building to the students for increasing the income and thus no more space for that office. Thus, if the above is correct that means the concluion drawn in the original agrument is significantly weakened.
In conclusion, the argument is remarkably flawed as there are several questions and incomplete information the author should provide them to make his argument more persuasive.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 15 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 16 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 616 350
No. of Characters: 2926 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.982 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.75 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.488 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.377 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 223, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...hire a well-known architect to add such a asthetic touch to this building. As a ...
^
Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...uilding. As a result of such solution, the the income will increase from tourists visi...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...uilding. As a result of such solution, the the income will increase from tourists visi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 61, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...says that the university’s plan to fund the the building is hiring a famous architect. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 61, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...says that the university’s plan to fund the the building is hiring a famous architect. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 297, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'visit'.
Suggestion: visit
...rmation about how many tourists come to visits such kind of building and how much the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 303, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n about how many tourists come to visits such kind of building and how much the t...
^^
Line 5, column 507, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...kets. If the university had to increase the the tickets’ cost this will consequently ca...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 507, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...kets. If the university had to increase the the tickets’ cost this will consequently ca...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 983, Rule ID: OUT_SIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'outside'?
Suggestion: outside
...ply, they can look at the building from out side as the cases in all the historic buildi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 438, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'provide'
Suggestion: provide
...ng affordable. Even if this office will provides such benefits, the author firstly shoul...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well, in conclusion, kind of, such as, as a result, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 33.0 12.9520958084 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2999.0 2260.96107784 133% => OK
No of words: 615.0 441.139720559 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87642276423 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97987886753 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58879151275 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.383739837398 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 921.6 705.55239521 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1327323594 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.391304348 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7391304348 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.82608695652 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238047970999 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0873524277225 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651775498692 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149039449334 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0874620321242 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.