In the announcement as released by the director of International Health Foundation, the director claims the death rate because of a particular disease will plummet in the coming years. The director rests his claim on the basis of the assumptions that a new medical test that allows the early detection of a particular disease will prevent the deaths of people all over the world who would otherwise die from the disease. He also claims the test has been extremely effective in allowing doctors to diagnose the disease six months to a year before it would have been spotted by conventional means. However, the announcement seems to be quite cursory and certain questions must be answered to evaluate the full validity as to whether the death rate might plummet.
Firstly, the director claims to have found a medical test that could detect the disease much earlier than it is now but, he fails to emphasize on the cure of the disease. What if the disease does not have any cure and can be spread rapidly. Even though detecting might be useful but without the cure there is no concrete support as to how the death rate might plummet. If the director sheds more light on the cure, maybe the results could look more promising.
Secondly, as per the director's announcement, the test has not yet been institutionalized. What if any drawbacks are found and the test does not get clearance. This will bring the problem to square one and thus failing to achieve the desired objective. Maybe, if the test is cleared, the speculation about its usage can be thwarted.
Thirdly, the director does not discuss about the particular disease. Certain facts need to be cleared before drawing assumptions about the disease. The director announced that the test will be able to detect the disease six months to a year as compared to conventional means. But, what if the symptoms of the disease can be seen only a few days prior to actually getting diagnosed. If this assumption proves to be true, the announcement holds no water and is too specious at the moment.
In conclusion, the announcement done by the director as stands now is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. If the questions raised in this argument are answered, perhaps with sufficient evidence, the confusion created now can be cleared. Thus, helping in turn to fully evaluate result of achieving lower death rate for that particular disease in the future.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 1980 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.648 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.856 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the announcement as released by the d...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 756, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
... answered to evaluate the full validity as to whether the death rate might plummet. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... whether the death rate might plummet. Firs...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the results could look more promising. Secondly, as per the directors announcem...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 58, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'directors'' or 'director's'?
Suggestion: directors'; director's
... Secondly, as per the directors announcement, the test has not yet been...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation about its usage can be thwarted. Thirdly, the director does not discuss a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 516, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ater and is too specious at the moment. In conclusion, the announcement done by ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, as to, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1994.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 410.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86341463415 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49982852243 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7137300447 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9989999889 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.7 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.7 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345286609889 0.218282227539 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0953101152073 0.0743258471296 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.133529385782 0.0701772020484 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174348853519 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.150452975914 0.0628817314937 239% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.