"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
In the memo from vice president of Quiot Manufacturing, it is stated that they have experienced on-the-job accidents increased 30 percent during the past years in comparison to Panoply Industry, and the reason for this accident to happen is assumed that it is due to the work shift, which is one hour shorter then the Ouiot Manufacturing company. The experts also says that the on-the-job accidents are due to tiredness and sleep deprivation among the workers who are working at the particular company. So, to reduce the on-the-job accidents and increase the productivity, Quiot Manufacturing decide to lessen each of three work shifts by one hour, so that the employees will get ample amount of time to sleep. I would like to present some assumptions in regard of this situation.
Firstly, the reason for the on-the-job accidents can be also from the other factor apart from the tiredness and sleep deprivation, like carelessness of the employees. Perhaps, there are myriad real-world cases of accidents happening due to the minor fault or carelessness of the workers. So, instead of shorten the works shift by one hour, the Quiot Manufacturing company should take a look that why this on-the-job accident are occurring and act according, if it was due to the ignorance of the employees.
Secondly, when comparing to Panoply Industries plant, it might be possible that they also had on-the-job accidents, but they tried to suppress the issues by some unethical methods, to save their plant from defamation. So it might not be valid to conclude, that due to the shorter work shift hours at Panoply Industries plant, they have less on-the-job accidents.
Also, it might be possible that the Panoply Indsutries plant face less on-the-job accidents as compared to Quiot Manfacturing not because of less work hours but due to more careful and attentive employees at Panoply Industries plant than the employees' of Quiot Manufacturing.
There can be a one more possibility fatigue and sleep deprivation are not due to the work shift, but also due to advance machinery or less automated devices available at the Quiot Manufacturing. than at the Panoply Industries plant, this leads to workers doing more amount of work as compared to workers at Panoply Industries plant, who have to do less work due to help of automated machinery which reduces their work to great extent.
Finally, I would like to conclude, that their are many other factors apart from the fatigueness and sleep deprivation which might need to be considered for evaluation before taking decision of reducing the work shifts by one hour, because it might lead to decreased productivity instead of increasing it.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 439 350
No. of Characters: 2190 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.577 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.989 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.797 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.583 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.919 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.72 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 302, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'shorter than'?
Suggestion: shorter than
...ue to the work shift, which is one hour shorter then the Ouiot Manufacturing company. The ex...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 364, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t, they have less on-the-job accidents. Also, it might be possible that the Pano...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 196, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Than
...s available at the Quiot Manufacturing. than at the Panoply Industries plant, this l...
^^^^
Line 9, column 196, Rule ID: SENT_START_THEM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Then'?
Suggestion: Then
...s available at the Quiot Manufacturing. than at the Panoply Industries plant, this l...
^^^^
Line 11, column 41, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...Finally, I would like to conclude, that their are many other factors apart from the f...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, apart from
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2250.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 439.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12528473804 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87575655577 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.428246013667 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 684.9 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.1855872253 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 173.076923077 119.503703932 145% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.7692307692 23.324526521 145% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.46153846154 5.70786347227 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.391142611265 0.218282227539 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150440182103 0.0743258471296 202% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0861987607633 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210902809251 0.128457276422 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0749486985138 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.6 14.3799401198 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 48.3550499002 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 12.197005988 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.07 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 20.0 11.9071856287 168% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.