Essay topics: We need to increase the funding for the movie Working Title by 10% in order to ensure a quality product. As you know, we are working with a first-time director, whose only previous experience has been shooting commercials for a shampoo company. Since the advertising business is notoriously wasteful, it stands to reason that our director will expect to be able to shoot take after take, without concern for how much time is being spent on any one scene. In addition, while we have saved money by hiring relatively inexperienced assistant producers and directors, this savings in salary will undoubtedly translate to greater expenditures in paying the actors and unionized crew overtime for the extra hours they will spend on the set waiting for the assistant directors and producers to arrange things. If we don’t get this extra money, the movie is virtually assured to be a failure
The topic was about increasing the fund for a movie and the author told to hiring less experienced producers and saving the money, invest it on hiring more experienced actors and paying overtime to the crew. The argument is unfeasible and flawed for the following reasons.
Primarily, the author claim, by increasing ten percent to the funding the quality of the movie will be ensured. But how cold only ten percent ensure the quality. There is no feasible data that provide the amount of money needed for the movie. Besides the quality of a movie depending on the myriad thing. It would have been possible that the new director creating a small budget film and do not need further money. It would have possible that the producers have already paid enough money and paying more money is impossible for them. Also, only ten percent not enough for the movie. Since there is no clear estimation, we can not tell ten percent is enough.
The second claim author had made that as the director is a novice and only shooting he had done is commercial for shampoo. The author thinks that the director cannot carry the movie. The reason is flawed because it might be possible that the director shooting a short film and he does not need that much experience. Besides how the author knows the adverting business is wasteful. There are many great directors who started their career in the advertisement. It might be possible that the commercial was successful and increased the selling of the shampoo because of the advertisement.
The author also claimed that hiring an inexperienced director and producers to save money and hire experienced actors to fill the gap. The author intended to pay extra money to the crew for overtime. One thing the author ignored is that movie making is a group project. A great movie not only need a great crew but also a script. Many movies became flop because of poor direction, and many movies are there, new actors and crew create a masterpiece. Also, overtime does not solve anything and could frustrate the crew and the actors. It would also possible that because of the short film the director does not need experience actor or need a new face for the film. It would also possible that produces do not have the money to hire an experienced actor.
The following argument based on unwarranted reasons and failed to provide convincing data that proves the authors' claims. The author should have provided more pragmatic and feasible data to sound more convincing to the readers.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2033 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.706 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.383 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.165 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.385 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.296 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 184, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...at the director cannot carry the movie. The reason is flawed because it might be po...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, second, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2075.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80324074074 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46032366071 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.425925925926 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 651.6 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.8933537056 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.8076923077 119.503703932 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6153846154 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.15384615385 5.70786347227 20% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193072580902 0.218282227539 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0584906398385 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0398830969443 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104395711272 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0585811138167 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 14.3799401198 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.26 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.17 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.