The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.
"For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony.Last year,however,private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled.The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year.Given such developments,some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting,and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable.Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Merely based on unfounded assumptions and dubious evidence, the author draws the conclusion that there is no further need to donate for the symphony next year. To support the conclusion, the author points out the evidence about more attendance, higher private contribution and tickets price of the symphony. At first glance, it appears to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection reveals that it omits some substantial concerns.
Firstly, the conclusion is unacceptable unless there is compelling evidence to support the strong connection between higher attendance and fully self-supporting. The assumption being made is that the 200 percent of private contributions and attendance can bring more income so the symphony can be self-supporting. However, is it definitely for it to become independence just due to higher contribution? Maybe this could be offset by more costs for every performance. Moreover, even if they really contribute to the whole profit, does it mean the symphony doesn't need any funding to maintain? The answer of it is uncertain.
Secondly, without ruling out all other factors, it is unreasonable to conclude the more expensive ticket can lead to self-independence. Whether the more pricy tickets can bring more profit? Perhaps the audience won't tend to buy it if they find the tickets are too expensive to afford. Therefore in this way, the profit would decrease instead. Moreover, even if the tickets with higher price could lead to a better financial consequence, how long would this optimistic phenomenon last? Can it resist through the whole next year? Thus it is irresponsible to draw the conclusion that the funding for the symphony can be eliminated from the next year's budget.
To sum up, the author fails to draw the conclusion because the cited evidence does not lend strong support for it. To make the conclusion more convincing, the author would have to provide more evidence with regard to the causal relationship between more private contributions, attendance and self-supporting. What's more, how long for the profit improvement can last brought by more expensive ticket should be answered. Thus if the argument had included the given factors, it could be more thorough and logically acceptable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1849 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.179 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.927 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...whole profit, does it mean the symphony doesnt need any funding to maintain? The answe...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 286, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...he tickets are too expensive to afford. Therefore in this way, the profit would decrease ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 529, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... it resist through the whole next year? Thus it is irresponsible to draw the conclus...
^^^^
Line 13, column 310, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...utions, attendance and self-supporting. Whats more, how long for the profit improveme...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 420, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...re expensive ticket should be answered. Thus if the argument had included the given ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, to sum up, with regard to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1904.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36338028169 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05127249464 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521126760563 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 579.6 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.2063652718 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.2 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.75 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139529981423 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.046308145005 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0449657443271 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0954701146543 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326064710893 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.