The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.
"For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview
Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200
percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The
symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such
developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next
year's budget."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in
order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based
are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to
evaluate the recommendation.
The city of Grandview has been promoting art and culture by sponsoring symphony in the city. Lately, there has been an increase in extrinsic provenance for the symphony. Because of this increment, some commissioners suggest that the symphony should not be funded by the city again. While this might be true, the argument does not prove this. The argument is based on truancy of quantification, unjustified assumption and lack of consideration for other factors, which all impairs the commisioners’ conclusion.
Citing an increase in private contribution and symphony attendance, the commissioners assume that these are enough to sustain the symphony. This might not be the case. The argument, which was based on percentages and terms, needs to present real numbers. How much is th real increment? What was the initial number of the private contribution and people’s attendance? Is this increment substantial enough to conclude that the symphony can rely on it for its existence? Without answers to these questions, the argument will remain blemished.
Going further, while mentioning increase in ticket prices, these commissioners assume that the increase will sufficient for the upkeep of the program. The might not be true. The symphony has recorded a surge in number of attendants. Hence, with rising participants comes increase onus. Does the increment cater for increased in security? Or perhaps it caters for paraphernalias, which might have increased due to increased attendants. Thus, the commissioners need to show how the new ticket fee will be spent before concluding that ticker fee is also enough for the symphony to survive on.
Lastly, relying on increased income, the commissioners suggest that the symphony is now self-supporting. We do not know if the city’s funding caters for quorum of the symphony’s expenses. Are these extrinsic funds, which are mentioned earlier, enough to care for all the symphony’s expenses? Will withdrawing the city’s fund not undermine the symphony’s existence? Without answers to these questions, the argument will remain vitiated.
In conclusion, due to the increase in Grandview symphony’s revenue, some commissioners suggested that the city should halt funding of the program. This recommendation was based on weak grounds, which all seems to debilitate the commissioners’ recommendation. Therefore, the city should continue funding the symphony. Else, the symphony might be cause to fold up if there is withdrawal of the city’s funding.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 386 350
No. of Characters: 2044 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.432 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.295 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.976 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.653 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.321 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.462 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 253, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'participants'' or 'participant's'?
Suggestion: participants'; participant's
...umber of attendants. Hence, with rising participants comes increase onus. Does the increment...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 343, Rule ID: BE_CAUSE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'because'?
Suggestion: because
... the symphony. Else, the symphony might be cause to fold up if there is withdrawal of th...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, lastly, so, therefore, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2134.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 386.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.52849740933 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43248042346 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18856247482 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471502590674 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 631.8 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.1017702733 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.2142857143 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.7857142857 23.324526521 59% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 2.53571428571 5.70786347227 44% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.268348049515 0.218282227539 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0776851612878 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0627898646804 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168082428859 0.128457276422 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0227707813601 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.2 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.