The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members.The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. If we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program, we can predict that our profits will increase, too."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this e-mail, the author recommends to institute a 'Shakespeare in the park' program similar to the 'Free Plays in the park' program started by Avon Repertory Company. Doing so the author thinks would increase the profits and attract new members to the Classical Shakespeare Theatre. However the recommendation suffers from several flaws and is therefore doubtful and questionable as it stands, albeit it may appear plausible at cursory glance.
To begin with, the author assumes that by imitating the similar program as introduced by Avon Repertory Company would increase the profits of their theatre, without taking in account the actual reasons behind the decline in profits. Is introducing a new program essentially sufficient to increase the profits? However there may be other reasons like increased pricing of the tickets, decline in the population of people nearby, lesser number of people interested in watching classical plays, etc. All of these reasons would led to attract fewer audience and hence, would be a substantial reason for the decline in profits. therefore the author should first find out the reasons behind the decline and then act accordingly.
In addition to this, the author states the profits of Avon Repertory Company increased by 10% after introducing 'Free Plays in the Park' program. But, the 10% mentioned is not significant enough. Maybe the profit earlier was $1 and now it is $1.1, which does not properly justify the profit. Hence we need more clear numbers which signifies the profits. Also, was 'Free Plays in the Park' program the only reason to increase profits of the company? It maybe possible that the company introduced many other schemes to attract more audience. Or there might be a possibility that the company reduced the ticket prices. All of these assumptions need to be verified by the author.
Finally, the most important question here is are' the Classical Shakespeare Theatre' and 'Avon Repertory Company' even comparable? There might be the possibility that they have different kinds of audience, they might be situated in different cities, one of them might be situated in a cosmopolitan area and other might be situated on a countryside. In these cases comparing the profits of both would be unjustifiable.
In retrospect, the author seems precipitous to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic assumptions pertaining the increase profits. To strengthen the argument, further investigation and analysis are needed. If the argument had answered the questions discussed above it would have more through and logical acceptance.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 2128 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.753 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.375 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.464 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 28, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends instituting'.
Suggestion: recommends instituting
In this e-mail, the author recommends to institute a Shakespeare in the park program simil...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 283, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...s to the Classical Shakespeare Theatre. However the recommendation suffers from several...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...m essentially sufficient to increase the profits? However there may be other reas...
^^
Line 3, column 312, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ly sufficient to increase the profits? However there may be other reasons like increas...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 526, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
... plays, etc. All of these reasons would led to attract fewer audience and hence, wo...
^^^
Line 3, column 625, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...tial reason for the decline in profits. therefore the author should first find out the re...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 625, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: therefore,
...tial reason for the decline in profits. therefore the author should first find out the re...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 223, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ant enough. Maybe the profit earlier was and now it is .1, which does not properl...
^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...h does not properly justify the profit. Hence we need more clear numbers which signif...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, in addition, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2180.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 414.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26570048309 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81804876923 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487922705314 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 674.1 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.0050410682 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0909090909 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8181818182 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.09090909091 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0794432605126 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0241215503283 0.0743258471296 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042876831008 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0474609206643 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0445568559955 0.0628817314937 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.34 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.