The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author’s premise claims that response to recent survey show that most of their eating habits are close to government recommendations as a part of some welfare program is flawed and misguided. Here, the author doesn’t specify Ankur number is people who took this survey and what backgrounds and what age groups they belong to. And it can’t be assured that people who’ve taken survey might have given their true responses or it might even be a made up survey. Just to promote the government’s welfare schemes, there might be a coming election and this might be their game plan. And telling that people have been aligning to those nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago doesn’t have to be the way it is, there’s a chance that people, ten years ago were more health conscious and well aware of nutritional values and they didn’t have to take a survey or they didn’t had to follow government’s recommendations. And about increase in the sales of Kiran that contains cholesterol is misguided as cholesterol is not the only reason for ill health or morbidities. It might be because of unhealthy lifestyle, or consuming junk food and oils. And the sales of Kiran are equally probable to drop in the near future. And about the reduce in the uses of sulia, it might be even because of its low quality or there might be some potential alternative in the market or because of its bad taste people might not prefer to consume it.
Observing all the premises, it’s evident that some evidence and statistics is missed by the author and its all nonsensical and illogical to come to those conclusions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 284 350
No. of Characters: 1307 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.105 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.602 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.63 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.618 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.376 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 884, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...’t have to take a survey or they didn’t had to follow government’s recommendations....
^^^
Line 1, column 1236, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...e to drop in the near future. And about the reduce in the uses of sulia, it might be even ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, so, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1350.0 2260.96107784 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 279.0 441.139720559 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83870967742 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08696624509 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77797432534 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.541218637993 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 417.6 705.55239521 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.8306494898 57.8364921388 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.0 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.9 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.2 5.70786347227 21% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 2.0 5.15768463074 39% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245821348745 0.218282227539 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0816119958045 0.0743258471296 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100377185132 0.0701772020484 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129267338223 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.129267338223 0.0628817314937 206% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 98.500998004 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.