The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 PM rather than 9:00 PM and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In a memorundum from the owner of movies galore, it is stated that to increase the profit margin of rental stores by decreasing operating expenses and also reducing the stock by removing all movies that are released more than five years ago. there is an evidence that in downtown marston store by decreasing
closing
time from 9 to 6 pm, the operating costs are declined. this helped in increase of profits to the store. However, before this can be fully evaluated, the following questions must be answered.
Firstly, are the type of people in downtown marston and people near other store are of similar qualities? it means that are people nearby other stores likely to have same interests as people of downtown. there may be variation in timings of their occupations. due to this, the people may be interested to watch evening shows more rather than before 6 pm. if the stores are
close
at 6 pm there may be decline in customers in such places.this results in decrease of business. if the above scenario is true, the evidence doesn't hold water.
Secondly, are there any new stores that entered into the market? if there are any new theatres in the same city people may just start attracting to them. For example, if there is new theatre with good ambience and quality with less price, people may start going to that theatre as it is better option than movies galore stores this results in decline of customers and reduction of profits. if the above is true, the conclusion gets weakened.
Thirdly, is the quality of stores is in an appreciable way? if the movies in our stores are not according to people's interests of particular place, then it will make them uninterested to visit the stores. even if the ambience and maintenance of stores is not in a proper way, watchers think that it is an unhealthy place. As health is the major priority, they prefer to not visit our stores. if the above scenario is true, then the conclusion drawn in the original argument doesn't hold good.
In my conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above questions with suitable evidence, the is is possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation to decrease the operating expenses and eliminate the stock of movies that are more than five years ago which helps in increase of customers and rapid burgeon of profits.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 1972 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.64 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.116 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.889 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.718 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
... are released more than five years ago. there is an evidence that in downtown marston...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... in downtown marston store by decreasing closing time from 9 to 6 pm, the opera...
^^^
Line 3, column 10, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...store by decreasing closing time from 9 to 6 pm, the operating costs are decli...
^^
Line 3, column 57, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...6 pm, the operating costs are declined. this helped in increase of profits to the st...
^^^^
Line 5, column 107, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...r other store are of similar qualities? it means that are people nearby other stor...
^^
Line 5, column 205, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...e same interests as people of downtown. there may be variation in timings of their oc...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 261, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Due
...iation in timings of their occupations. due to this, the people may be interested t...
^^^
Line 5, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ther than before 6 pm. if the stores are close at 6 pm there may be decline in c...
^^^
Line 7, column 96, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...s.this results in decrease of business. if the above scenario is true, the evidenc...
^^
Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he above scenario is true, the evidence doesnt hold water. Secondly, are there any ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 66, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ew stores that entered into the market? if there are any new theatres in the same ...
^^
Line 9, column 66, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ew stores that entered into the market? if there are any new theatres in the same ...
^^
Line 9, column 391, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... of customers and reduction of profits. if the above is true, the conclusion gets ...
^^
Line 11, column 38, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an appreciable way" with adverb for "appreciable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... Thirdly, is the quality of stores is in an appreciable way? if the movies in our stores are not a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 61, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ity of stores is in an appreciable way? if the movies in our stores are not accor...
^^
Line 11, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eciable way? if the movies in our stores are not according to peoples interests o...
^^
Line 11, column 111, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'people'.
Suggestion: people
...ies in our stores are not according to peoples interests of particular place, then it ...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 207, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Even
... them uninterested to visit the stores. even if the ambience and maintenance of stor...
^^^^
Line 11, column 261, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...bience and maintenance of stores is not in a proper way, watchers think that it is an unhealthy...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 394, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...y, they prefer to not visit our stores. if the above scenario is true, then the co...
^^
Line 11, column 476, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nclusion drawn in the original argument doesnt hold good. In my conclusion, the arg...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...nce on several unwarranted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above ...
^^
Line 13, column 210, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: is
...e questions with suitable evidence, the is is possible to fully evaluate the viabilit...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2036.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81323877069 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59747086562 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472813238771 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 650.7 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 2.70958083832 443% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7446590093 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.9523809524 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1428571429 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52380952381 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 23.0 5.25449101796 438% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197638603301 0.218282227539 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0546452007548 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0587273672571 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.097162961388 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0654360950528 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.