The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of
Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken
when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in
fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made
citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on
fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely
the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.
While Corpora’s economy might got a hit recently, where it declined. But the health magazine saying that the economy being declined is the reason behind the low levels of fitness of it’s people is unjustified. Where this conclusion has assumed a lot of fact that can’t be assumed without justifying them. Saying that fitness is related to economy cant be this easy. When you say so you must explain a lot how its related and prove that all the assumptions are right.
First, saying that the recent decline in the economy has caused the fitness of Corpora’s people to decline, you must have been assumed that Corpora’s people can’t do exercising, jogging or even sports without using money. However, anyone can do sports like swimming or jogging for example without spending any money. Someone can say that the economy being declined might affect the feelings of the people which will lead their fitness to deteriorate because simply they can’t put their mind in fitness when they don’t know how will they handle their life. Instead, sports in fact acts the other way around. A lot of articles says that people that usually do sports and are concerned about their fitness gets happier and happier in their life. In fact Corpora’s people might be not well educated in fitness and health and that can be the main reason behind their health deteriorating.
In addition, assuming that Corpora’s health and fitness will improve simply because their economy has been enhanced is really a vague statement without any evidences that can support it. In fact, health and fitness for those people who got richer as they got older, has been deteriorating instead of improving. Because, usually when people have more money they tend to abuse their health with fast food and no healthy food. Other than having more money encourages people to be more lazy and waste their time on gambling and bars, which can take their mind away from their health. And there is a point of no return for bad health, where the person’s confidence gets a hit and leads him to start hating him self because of his bad fitness state. Reaching the point of no return will lead the problem to get worse and worse, as people tend to eat more when their confidence gets worse because they need to get their minds of their problems by feeling good and in this case by eating.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.663 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.159 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.183 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 363, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ying that fitness is related to economy cant be this easy. When you say so you must ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 193, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...hout any evidences that can support it. In fact, health and fitness for those peop...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, really, so, well, while, for example, in addition, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1993.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 406.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90886699507 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48497267179 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.463054187192 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 592.2 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.028466536 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.235294118 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8823529412 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88235294118 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157094328065 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669778572052 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0611000173875 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128780860173 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0394390092148 0.0628817314937 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.31 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.