The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
The convoluted conclusion presented by the health magazine's for the decline in fitness might have some element but it hinges upon various assumption which needs to be addressed before the denizens of Corpora consider it real.
The article starts with "experts says that.." with no clear indication of who these experts are and how have they identified a decline in endemics physical fitness level. What is the standard baseline? the viewers are left in the dark on key aspects that determines the authenticity of the article. There needs to be concrete evidence supplemented in answering; who has conducted the survey? Was conducted by the health magazine or the government? It is possible that there is a decline in health magazine's suscriber base leading to a handful of people filling in the survey. Also, What were key points on which fitness level determined? if the survey was 20 pages long, there are chances majority lost hope and filled it in a perfunctory manner.
Also, the big idea that overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, is prone to a slew of assumptions. How was the survery was circulated amongst the viewers? If the survery was sent over viewer's emails, it would account for a high hit rate by the individuals. Or was the survery was filled frivolously checking the best possible entries for the questions? the authenticity of the survery needs to be checked.
Finally,another assumption that needs to be addressed is the fact that fitness is mapped directly with the econmoy and lower expenditure on fitness-related products and services. There is no denying that economies state does effect the personal state of the denizens, however, there is no direct link or facts mentioned in the article that bolsters this idea. Are the individuals more self-aware and tending to natural ways for keeping them fit? Are people following free fitness classes on Youtube ? .
In a nutshell, there are reasonable idea's presented by the health magazine, however, there needs to be extensive research done to conclude the cause for a decline in fitness levels if there are any.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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flaws:
the arguments are on the wrong track.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1761 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.933 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.907 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 48, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...icle starts with 'experts says that..' with no clear indication of who t...
^^
Line 4, column 213, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...s level. What is the standard baseline? the viewers are left in the dark on key asp...
^^^
Line 4, column 649, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ints on which fitness level determined? if the survey was 20 pages long, there are...
^^
Line 4, column 733, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a perfunctory manner" with adverb for "perfunctory"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...hances majority lost hope and filled it in a perfunctory manner. Also, the big idea that overall fit...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...est possible entries for the questions? the authenticity of the survery needs to be...
^^^
Line 9, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , another
... survery needs to be checked. Finally,another assumption that needs to be addressed i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 226, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...is no denying that economies state does effect the personal state of the denizens, how...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 502, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...owing free fitness classes on Youtube ? . In a nutshell, there are reasonabl...
^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ne in fitness levels if there are any.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.9520958084 15% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1827.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 356.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13202247191 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83164871579 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525280898876 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.9951156968 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1578947368 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7368421053 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.15789473684 5.70786347227 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108791063 0.218282227539 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0307924562299 0.0743258471296 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.039216023779 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0536860386916 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0371376787828 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.