The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
In the passage the author has stated that government should launch educational program that concentrates on factor other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety. The reasonings behind the statement are as the number of people using helmets are increasing, number of accidents caused by bicycling is also increasing. He thinks that bicyclists feel safer driving with helmets. So, they drive recklessly. Before evaluating his recommendations some questions must be answered.
Firstly, does the number of bicyclist same as before? In this ten years maybe the number of bicyclists has increased. With this increased number of bicyclists in roads, accidetns may have increased than before. As roads with slow moving and fast moving vehicles create more accidents. If the above is true then the argument does not hold water.
Secondly, Conditions of road may not be same as before. The road condition may be worse than before which are creating more accidents. If this is the case then the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
Thirdly, Does the traffic jam condition same as before? If traffic jam increases , bicyclists have less time to go to their work place. So they may become reckless in order to reach their destinations on time. This scenario can increasae bicycle accidents than before.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer these three questions then the recommendation can be evaluated properly.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 250 350
No. of Characters: 1285 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.976 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.14 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.789 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.451 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 417, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ith helmets. So, they drive recklessly. Before evaluating his recommendations some que...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 247, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fore. As roads with slow moving and fast moving vehicles create more accidents. I...
^^
Line 3, column 288, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... moving vehicles create more accidents. If the above is true then the argument doe...
^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...fore which are creating more accidents. If this is the case then the conclusion dr...
^^
Line 7, column 82, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...same as before? If traffic jam increases , bicyclists have less time to go to thei...
^^
Line 9, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nce on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer these thre...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1337.0 2260.96107784 59% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 250.0 441.139720559 57% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.348 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.97635364384 4.56307096286 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89051993152 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.6 0.468620217663 128% => OK
syllable_count: 407.7 705.55239521 58% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.6390025696 57.8364921388 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 70.3684210526 119.503703932 59% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.1578947368 23.324526521 56% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.105981738389 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.033282494206 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588055165913 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0507809439918 0.128457276422 40% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0527628057843 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.86 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.