The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"The population of Balmer Island increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce
the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island.,
should limit the number of mopeds rented by each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental
companies from 50 per day to 30 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of
rentals, the town council is sure to attain the 50 percent reduction in moped accidents that was
achieved last year in the neighboring island of Torseau, when Torseau's town council enforced
similar limits on moped rentals."
The author argues in a letter to the editor that they should reduce the number of mopeds rented by the rental companies at the Balmer Islands from fifty to thirty to reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds. The author is convinced that by doing so, they'll be able to achieve a fifty percent reduction in the moped accidents, similar to the results that were reported by their neighbouring Island of Torseau. The author cites the increased summer population of the island to 100,000. The author seems to have based his argument on some unwarranted assumptions that make his argument infirm.
Firstly, the author fails to specifiy the reason of the moped accidents. Perhaps, the accidents are caused due to some safety issues that needs to be addressed or have not been mentioned to the people who rent mopeds. It may be possible that a tourist who is not abreast of the dangers of driving a moped on some particular road and might meet with an accident. In that case the author needs to suggest the installation of proper instruction signs and finds ways to make people know of the dangers of riding a moped in those areas.
Secondly, the author fails to mention the effect it would have on the economy of the Island if all the six rental services have the rental services they offer suddenly cut short. Perhaps, for a Island like Balmer the revenue generated from the rental companies play a significant role in underpinning the economy of the islands. The author must consider coming to a conclusion only after the effects of lower revenue of these rental services can have on the economy.
Thirdly, the reduction in the service and limitations imposed on this rental companies could lead to inflated prices which could discourage tourists to visit Balmer. Perhaps the tourists would refrain from visiting Balmer because of it's high moped rental prices, which surely might be an inconvenience. The author must conduct surveys and take into consideration the effect it can have on the incoming tourist populations.
Fourthly, the author fails to mention and inform the readers about the availability of any conducive or alternative modes of transport on the Island. It might be possible that mopeds are the only or the primary modes of transport on that island and bridling the number of moped to be rented per day, can seriously hobble the tourism sector of the island.
Lastly, the author relies on the results of the neighbouring Island Torseau, which might not be a proper basis for extrapolating results of Balmer Islands. It is possible that the Balmer Islands and the Torseau Islands differ greatly in terms of their geographic locations and features. Geographic location and features of an Island dominate the mobility on the islands, and the favorable modes of transport. The basis of extrapolating results for Balmer is vague if these necessary geographical features of the two Islands are not assessed. Thus, the author should investigate the geographical features of the two and accordingly estimate the results that seem to be promising for Balmer Islands.
In conclusion, the author must include the answers to the above concerns and reasonings in his argument to strengthen it. The author must investigate and consider the cause of moped accidents, effects of the restrictions on the economy and tourism, primary mode of transport and the geographical features of the islands to make a cogent case to the editor.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 575 350
No. of Characters: 2819 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.897 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.903 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 229 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.46 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.34 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 258, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they'll
...e author is convinced that by doing so, theyll be able to achieve a fifty percent redu...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 417, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...y their neighbouring Island of Torseau. The author cites the increased summer popul...
^^^
Line 1, column 492, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...er population of the island to 100,000. The author seems to have based his argument...
^^^
Line 3, column 192, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... offer suddenly cut short. Perhaps, for a Island like Balmer the revenue generate...
^
Line 6, column 665, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ingly estimate the results that seem to be promising for Balmer Islands. In conclusion, the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 89.0 55.5748502994 160% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2868.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 574.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99651567944 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6919866039 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 204.123752495 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.412891986063 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 898.2 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2996341922 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.695652174 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9565217391 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73913043478 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248656626979 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0837170590999 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860326665684 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122314100022 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0817675210471 0.0628817314937 130% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.