The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Relannian newspaper.
Industry analysts report that the number of dairy farms in Relanna has increased by 25 percent over the last decade. Also, recent innovations in milking technology make it possible for farmers to significantly increase the efficiency of the milking process, allowing them to collect more milk in less time with minimal human intervention. In fact, data from the Relannian Department of Agriculture indicate that labor costs at the majority of Relannian dairy farms are actually lower now than they were ten years ago. Despite increased efficiency and lower labor costs, a carton of cream—a dairy product made from milk—at the local food market costs twice as much as it did two years ago. The only explanation for this dramatic price increase is that farmers are inflating the price of cream to increase their profits.
The letter indicates that inflation in carton milk is an apparent price manipulation by farmers to make more profits. he defends his notion by arguing that efficiency is increased and labour costs are lower than they were ten years ago. Although the scenario is argumentative at first glance, further investigation and pursuing situations shows some apparent flaws.
it is mentioned that analysts reported that the number of dairy farms in Relanna increased by 25 percent over the last decade. The author supposes that the population of the area was stable during these years. he fails to explain the milk production ratio in comparison with the population growth. If the population doubled in the same period, then the diary products are lower compared to the past. Since the price is determined by demand-supply law, when the demand is higher than the supply, then the price will rise. Hence, while there is no precise data about the number of people, the price rise may be reasonable.
The writing explains the advances in the product line and the technology adopted to reduce human intervention. The outcome of this decision is lower labour costs. The writer fails to explain whether there are any other additional costs or not. Utilizing new technology needs investment and maybe higher standards that leads to more costs but a product with more top quality. The size, weight, packing, quality, etc. are neglected, and no further data is given in the text. In this regard, we need to glean more evidence about the final products in both periods.
At last, the passage points out that a carton of cream costs twice as much as it did two years ago at the local market. The text does not provide clear evidence and valid data to declare that the local market salesmen do not play a role in the price rise. One possible idea is that they decided to double their profit, and it is a factor for the price increase.
All in all, the letter explains a situation in which the price of diary increased while technology helps the industry to produce more efficient with the labour cost. then concludes that the price increase is up to the farmers' greed to gain more profit. I assert that the text needs to add more data to be more valuable and plausible. while the population growth, changes in product characteristics and the intentions of the local market salesmen are not considered, it is irrational to make a swift conclusion and find the farmers as the problem root.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 2000 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.717 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.477 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.668 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.294 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 119, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...lation by farmers to make more profits. he defends his notion by arguing that effi...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ons shows some apparent flaws. it is mentioned that analysts reported tha...
^^
Line 7, column 211, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...the area was stable during these years. he fails to explain the milk production ra...
^^
Line 13, column 164, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...of this decision is lower labour costs. The writer fails to explain whether there a...
^^^
Line 25, column 167, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...ce more efficient with the labour cost. then concludes that the price increase is up...
^^^^
Line 25, column 219, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'farmers'' or 'farmer's'?
Suggestion: farmers'; farmer's
...es that the price increase is up to the farmers greed to gain more profit. I assert tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 335, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...data to be more valuable and plausible. while the population growth, changes in produ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, if, may, so, then, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2075.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 424.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89386792453 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53630522732 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530660377358 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.1353728516 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.2173913043 119.503703932 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4347826087 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.86956521739 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139849335145 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0411424920629 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103251812414 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0718245979814 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0549304955269 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 14.3799401198 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.