The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice for a client.
"Most homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last heating season that region experienced 90 days with below-normal temperatures, and climate forecasters predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes are being built in the region in response to recent population growth. Because of these trends, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."
The firm providing advice to a client in their letter concludes that investing in Consolidates Industries which sells heating oil would be profitable investment. To prove their point the firm mentioned about the usuage of heating oil in most homes of northeastern region of United States. However, the argument made by the firm rests on series of assumptions that are unpersuasive and illogical. This would be proved in the following essay.
First, the firm mentions that majority of homes in northeastern region of United States used heating oil as their major fuel for heating. The firm has not mentioned about the exact number of houses in which heating oil is used. The word "most" is a vague way to provide a fact as it results in multiple interpretations. The firm should provide an exact number of houses in which heating oil is used as major fuel, this would help them to increase the strength of their claim.
Secondly, the firm mentions that people are going to keep using oil as heating fuel as the weather pattern of the area is going to remain same for many upcoming years. There is no mentioned about the fact from which the firm is claiming this. It could happen that the prediction was not made by a proper institute and the method which the instistute used to make a prediction about the weather is wrong. There is a possibilty that due to some natural calmaity like a cyclone the weather of the area is experiencing such an extreme climatic condition. So, the firm should consider all these facts before coming to a final judgement.
Thirdly, the letter mentions that many new homes are being bulit in the region to accomodate the rising population growth. There is a possiblity that the new homes would come with the latest technologies like electric heaters and air conditioners(AC) to control the temperature inside the house. So, there would not be any requirement for the residents to buy oil to be used as fuel. Furthermore, the firm mentions that the client should invest in Consolidated Industries, which runs a major business in selling retail home heating oil. But the firm does not mentions about the profit made by the company or what is the revenue which the company generates. It could happen that eventhough the company has a major business operation, it could be experiencing losses. Unless, we are presented with the exact number of profits which the company makes it would be wrong to invest in a company.
In conclusion, the firm should consider all the facts which are mentioned above. The firm should conduct a survey, so we could get to know that what is the exact requirement of heating oil. In addition, the firm should investigate more about the company in which they are suggesting the client to invest. Only after a proper analysis is done the firm should advice a client to invest in a company.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2304 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.692 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.561 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.458 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.454 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.344 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...it results in multiple interpretations. The firm should provide an exact number of...
^^^
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts in multiple interpretations. The firm should provide an exact number of houses...
^^
Line 4, column 397, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o make a prediction about the weather is wrong. There is a possibilty that due to...
^^
Line 5, column 558, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'mention'
Suggestion: mention
...home heating oil. But the firm does not mentions about the profit made by the company or...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 765, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Unless” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ation, it could be experiencing losses. Unless, we are presented with the exact number...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 359, Rule ID: GIVE_ADVISE[4]
Message: Did you mean 'advise' (a verb)?
Suggestion: advise
...proper analysis is done the firm should advice a client to invest in a company.
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2366.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81873727088 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67835254733 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419551934827 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 732.6 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.9631264951 57.8364921388 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.5833333333 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4583333333 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08333333333 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316014680716 0.218282227539 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101134878379 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101035664017 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.205948086366 0.128457276422 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0910471404097 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.3799401198 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.68 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.