The following appeared in a letter from the manager of a rock band named Double Rice.
"One year ago, tickets for Double Rice's concerts in stadiums around the country took, on
average, at least 24 hours to sell out, if they sold out at all. But the band has been enjoying a
surge in nationwide popularity among 14 to 25 year olds, and the 30,000 tickets for a recent
concert in Megalopolis sold out in 12 minutes. Clearly the ticket sales in Megalopolis are a
result both of the band's increased popularity and of the advertising campaign run in
Megalopolis by the Ad Lib advertising agency. Thus, in order to ensure that the band's success
in Megalopolis is repeated across the country, the band should hire Ad Lib to duplicate the
Megalopolis ad campaign on a nationwide scale."
The manager of the Double Rice rock band suggests that they should hire Ad Lib to ensure the band's success by emulating the Megalopolis ad Campaign but on an Nationwide scale. The author is convinced by the fact that high ticket sales in Megalopolis has been the result of the band's sweeping popularity and the successful ad campaign and that it can be achieved again but on a nation wide on scale in future. The author seems to be relying on some unwarranted assumptions. The author should elucidate on these three assumptions to make a cogent case.
The population of people willing to attend the band's concerts doesn't depend on natural factors. Perhaps, that dates of the concerts were not favourable for the people to attend such an concert. It is possible that he location of the concert venue were not easily accessible or might have had large scale parking space issues which could have been highly discouraging for people to attend the concerts. Perhaps, there were other festivities in close proximity to the dates of the concert and people were in a more festive mood to enjoy by other means than attend a rock concert. Thus, there could be a miscellany of natural causes like venue problems, unfavourable dates and etc. which could have contributed to the low turn up. The author must investigate the band's past concerts and the last year's concerts and comparatively analyze the scenarios in which they were held.
Has the number of 14 to 25 year olds varied over the last year? It is possible that the population that is associated with this age distinction has swelled in number compared to last year and more teenagers and young adults have recently discovered the band's music. It can be said that the audience of any form of art is a fleeting number and varies with the visibility and reach or connect with the audience. The author must take into consideration that the popularity of a band varies with the number of people who have recently discovered their music. It can be sudden surge of new listeners for the band and thus must be an essential factor in determining the band's success.
Does the popularity of the band in Megalopolis indicate a possibility of an ecumenical popularity across the nation? Perhaps, the band is specifically and significantly more popular in Megalopolis and the loyal fan base is limited within its boundaries. The author must rely on nation wide survey and nation wide top music charts to assess the band's relevance on a nationwide scale.
The Advertising campaign run by Ad Lib advertising agency will be successful even outside Megalopolis. This important but unwarranted assumption that the author stresses on requires clarifications. It might be possible that the advertising agency is successful only within Megalopolis and might fail to garner a commensurate attention on a nationwide scale. Perhaps, the agency is a local agency that is successful within the boundaries of Megalopolis and it's success exceeding the boundaries are precarious. The author must investigate the company's past advertising gigs and their experience in similar concert publicity to rely on them. It might other wise be parlous to the band in various ways.
In conclusion, based on the above stated reasonings and concerns the argument stands infirm. The author needs to investigate the band's previous concert conditions and dates, the previous campaigns of the advertising agency, assiduously to get an accurate idea of the situation. More over the author must evaluate the population that has recently evinced predilections for the band's music. If these evidences are incorporated into the argument then the author will be able to make a cogent, well researched and strong argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 618 350
No. of Characters: 3069 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.986 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.966 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.791 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 224 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 84 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.837 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.25 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.3 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bands'' or 'band's'?
Suggestion: bands'; band's
...t they should hire Ad Lib to ensure the bands success by emulating the Megalopolis ad...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ting the Megalopolis ad Campaign but on an Nationwide scale. The author is convinc...
^^
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
... that it can be achieved again but on a nation wide on scale in future. The author seems to...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 399, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ved again but on a nation wide on scale in future. The author seems to be relying on some...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 410, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ut on a nation wide on scale in future. The author seems to be relying on some unwa...
^^^
Line 1, column 474, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...elying on some unwarranted assumptions. The author should elucidate on these three ...
^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ree assumptions to make a cogent case. The population of people willing to attend ...
^^^
Line 2, column 63, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...le willing to attend the bands concerts doesnt depend on natural factors. Perhaps, tha...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 182, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...avourable for the people to attend such an concert. It is possible that he locatio...
^^
Line 2, column 443, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'proximity'.
Suggestion: proximity
...erhaps, there were other festivities in close proximity to the dates of the concert and people ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 670, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...like venue problems, unfavourable dates and etc. which could have contributed to the low...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bands'' or 'band's'?
Suggestion: bands'; band's
...ung adults have recently discovered the bands music. It can be said that the audience...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 664, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bands'' or 'band's'?
Suggestion: bands'; band's
... an essential factor in determining the bands success. Does the popularity of the ba...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 278, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...its boundaries. The author must rely on nation wide survey and nation wide top music charts...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 301, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...hor must rely on nation wide survey and nation wide top music charts to assess the bands re...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 344, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bands'' or 'band's'?
Suggestion: bands'; band's
...ion wide top music charts to assess the bands relevance on a nationwide scale. The A...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 648, Rule ID: OTHER_WISE_OTHERWISE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'otherwise'?
Suggestion: otherwise
...ert publicity to rely on them. It might other wise be parlous to the band in various ways....
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 376, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'bands'' or 'band's'?
Suggestion: bands'; band's
... recently evinced predilections for the bands music. If these evidences are incorpora...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, so, then, thus, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 11.1786427146 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 82.0 55.5748502994 148% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3105.0 2260.96107784 137% => OK
No of words: 617.0 441.139720559 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03241491086 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.98392262146 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83296121524 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431118314425 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 994.5 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8280143204 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.068965517 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.275862069 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.51724137931 5.70786347227 27% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.25449101796 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141043903794 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0402545396595 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441527284461 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0754385635313 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036536209303 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.