The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment building to its manager.
“One month ago, all the showerheads on the first five floors of Sunnyside Towers were modified to restrict the water flow to approximately 1/3 of its original force. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. Clearly, restricting water flow throughout all the 20 floors of Sunnyside Towers will increase our profits further.”
The article said that the owner of the Sunnnyside Towers apartment change the showerhead to minimize the water flow in order to reduce the cost on the water. After one month, changing the first three building of the apartment, the owner have a conclude that the new showerhead should be placed in all buildings. There are some assumptions below need to be explained.
The memo states that although actual readings of water usage are not yet be available, the author assumptions that the change of showerhead can lower the usage. There is no evidence to support the author’s claim. However, the resident in the first three buildings might use the more water, because the water become extremely less than before. For example, taking the shower with the one-third of the water can not clean all the bubbles on the body, so the residents might take three times longer than usual in shower. Then, the water usage might be higher than before. So the owner might base on the objective and clear data of water usage to claim that the change of the showerhead can bring the less water usage.
The memo also states that only few complaints about the low water pressure and o problems have been reported. There is an assumption that the proportion of few complaints are less than 10 percent. The owner need to provide use the percentage of the number of complaints to the number of all residents in the first buildings. For example, if the first buildings has only 10 people, the complaints about the new showerhead have up to 7 people. Indeed, the number of 7 people apparently look a little. Still, having the total number of the base, the 7 people account for 70 percent among the residents in the first building. The showerhead is not that appropriate.
The memo said that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings could increase the profit further. Here is an assumption that the first three building’s resident could represent the whole residents of the twelve buildings. For example, if all of the freshmen of the college live in the first three buildings, being a new neighbor and step in the society only for few months, they might be timid to fight against the owner or older people. They might compliance the rule that is not that appropriate. They want to let other having a great impression on them, so they will not complain about the showerheads.
The author of the article should explain further the assumptions above to make the memo more convincing.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2019 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.695 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.42 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.543 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ilding of the apartment, the owner have a conclude that the new showerhead should be place...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 272, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...f the twelve buildings. For example, if all of the freshmen of the college live in the fir...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, first, however, if, look, so, still, then, third, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2080.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83720930233 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53716134075 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.432558139535 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 618.3 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.3854019564 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.5454545455 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5454545455 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.59090909091 5.70786347227 63% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180987539427 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561877872004 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0610492980818 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104696255048 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0754009493967 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 48.3550499002 143% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 12.197005988 68% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.