The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
As per the article published in the magazine, Clearview is the best place for retired people due to numerous reasons such as amazing beauty of nature and good weather. Also, the housing rates and taxes have declined in Clearview as compared to other neighboring towns. Additionally, Clearview will have improved facilities of streets, schools, and other services like health benefits in nearby future because physician’s count is much larger than the average of the country. At a first glance, the article does look promising as far as retirement policies are concerned. However, at the closer look, it certainly has at least three of unwarranted assumptions which need to be justified to make above argument reasonable.
First, author of the article assumes that the people who are almost at the age of retirement would like to choose the Clearview because of the calm and fascinating nature and weather. Of course, there are more important aspects, which must be considered for the city to choose after retirement by elderly. Peaceful weather can be one of the reasons but certainly not the primary one. And even if it is considered as an important aspect, author should provide the enough data records and information to prove that Clearview city has better nature and stable weather conditions than other cities otherwise the credibility of the claim will not hold a water.
Secondly, author blindly assumes that housing costs and taxes will not fluctuate at all. In other words, housing prices and taxes have not raised in the past year in Clearview, it certainly doesn’t mean that they will remain constant in upcoming years. Suppose prices take a rise dramatically, in next couple of years, it will have detrimental effects on the budgets of old retired people. Hence, if this negative condition is considered, author needs to provide the data analysis and projection of housing costs and corresponding taxes for nearby future.
Finally, author also claims that retired people will have a great heath care facilities in Clearview city because physicians’ count is greater than the average of the country. Human health is complex and dependent of many other factors so only the availability of physicians does not guarantee the best health care benefits. In other words, despite having physicians’ count is higher in the city, people surely need other doctors as well such as cardiologists, surgeons, superspecialists. They can’t rely on only Physicians in long run. Hence, author needs to provide exact evidence of data to clarify the picture of medical health care facilities in the town.
To conclude, though Clearview is one of the best choices for retiring people, for above three unwarranted assumptions, evidence must be provided otherwise the author’s claim will be significantly weakened.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2299 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.075 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.021 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.539 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed to make above argument reasonable. First, author of the article assumes tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 669, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'water'.
Suggestion: water
... credibility of the claim will not hold a water. Secondly, author blin...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ty of the claim will not hold a water. Secondly, author blindly assumes that ho...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...corresponding taxes for nearby future. Finally, author also claims that retired...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...al health care facilities in the town. To conclude, though Clearview is one of ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, well, at least, of course, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2370.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 452.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24336283186 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7992872458 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 738.0 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.5139224921 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.736842105 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7894736842 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57894736842 5.70786347227 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21380125041 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0692762281447 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0648468485672 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.137043544722 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0604130401995 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.