The following appeared in a memo from the business manager of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
In this memo, the business manager of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States claims that the chain of cheese stores can raise its profit by discontinuing stocking many of varieties of imported cheese and concentrating primarily on domestic cheese. To support her argument, she says that all of the five best-selling cheese at our newest store were domestic cheese. And she cites a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates there is increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribes. It seems plausible at first, however, careful scrutiny reveals that this argument has several logical problems.
To begin with, based on the fact that the its newest store's five best-selling items are all domestic cheese last year, the author hastily assumes that this selling case of last year will be same in the future. However, consuming pattern in the store could not continuous in the future. Common sense tells us that customer's preference for a kind of item is very changeable and easily affected by mass media and advertisements. Until she cannot rule out this problem, this argument is groundless.
Secondly, based on the above the same information, the author wrongly assumes that this newest store's best-selling cheese can represent popular items in all other stores of the chain. However, this store could be eccentric. For example, in the other stores, imported cheeses could be more popular than domestic or even, in other stores, customers could not totally buy domestic cheeses. If this is true, we cannot be convinced by this argument.
Thirdly, based on the survey which is conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine that indicates subscribes of the magazine prefer domestic cheeses, the author presumes that the result of survey can be representative the other customer of U.S.. However, they would not be common customer group. For example, other customers over the nation would not prefer domestic cheeses. If she cannot explain the result of survey can be applied to other customers over the nation, this argument is not based on right assumptions.
Finally, even if we admit that other problems is true, there is another critical problem. Based on the fact that the chain can can reduce its storage cost, the author assumes that the action will be beneficial to the chain. However, it could not be true. For example, there are many factors which affect a net profit of a business. If storing only domestic cheese has higher cost than storing both imported and domestic cheese or if opportunity cost of not selling imported cheeses is higher than selling imported cheeses, this action will result loss rather than profit.
To summarize, this argument is still dubious as it stands. To make this argument more persuasive, the author have to inspect the preference of customers over the nation and have to the selling pattern of the newest store is similar with other stores of the chain have to explain why she thinks the patter will be continuous in the future. To evaluate better, we have to know additional analyses about rate about cost to loss when the chain decided to discontinue sell imported cheeses
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 525 350
No. of Characters: 2585 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.787 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.924 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.465 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 202 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 138 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.747 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.696 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.16 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 311, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... To support her argument, she says that all of the five best-selling cheese at our newest ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 39, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'its'?
Suggestion: the; its
... To begin with, based on the fact that the its newest stores five best-selling items a...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'customers'' or 'customer's'?
Suggestion: customers'; customer's
... the future. Common sense tells us that customers preference for a kind of item is very c...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 51, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ased on the survey which is conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine that indic...
^^
Line 7, column 236, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can be representative the other customer of U.S.. However, they would not be comm...
^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...epresentative the other customer of U.S.. However, they would not be common custo...
^^
Line 9, column 124, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: can
...oblem. Based on the fact that the chain can can reduce its storage cost, the author ass...
^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 340, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...atter will be continuous in the future. To evaluate better, we have to know additi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, still, third, thirdly, for example, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2657.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 524.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07061068702 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54218172563 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404580152672 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 826.2 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.9326054008 57.8364921388 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.708333333 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8333333333 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.375 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28935378279 0.218282227539 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0807079549545 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0926236379297 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167727951587 0.128457276422 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0798168471856 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.