The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large groups of hospital.
"In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospital. ...."
The director of a large group of hospital maintains that all the hospital within their system should substitute UltraClean for a present hand-washing product so as to prevent serious patient infections. However, this argument rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
The director states that the study shows that UltraClean can produce 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than the liquid hand soaps currently used in the hospital. An assumption here is that the study is made by professional experts at bacteria study and the experts did not make any fabricated data to make any money from the corporation of UltraClean. However, it is also possible that the study was made by UltraClean corporation themselves; therefore, the ultimate study data has a great advantage bias to themselves. Furthermore, we do not obtain the exact total of the number of reduction in the bacteria population. It is possible that there were two people reductions after using the current hand-washing product and there were 3 people reductions after using UltraClean, which are both figures well below the industry average.
Even if the number of reduction in bacteria population is prominent, it does not mean that the group of hospitals should replace all the hand-washing products. Maybe the cost of the substitution will lead to a considerable burden for the individual hospital. The author seems to assume that all the hospitals inside the system are wealthy. Even though all the other hospitals are rich, the assumption that patients are infected by the bacteria via physical interaction may be erroneous. If those infected patients emerge the syndromes that only popular in the bacteria which only infect people via the air, then the replacement of hand-washing product may not useful.
The author also assumes that the subsequent test in Workby can be analogous to other rest hospitals. Nevertheless, it is probable that the Workby has the fewest patients and most medical staff than any other hospital. So patients in Workby got too much care to get any infection. In contrast, other hospitals may have an unbalanced ratio of patients to medical staff; thus, even all the hand-washing products are replaced by UltraClean, the infection ratio may not drop down efficiently.
The director now wants to supply UltraClean at all hand-washing station throughout their hospital system. Nonetheless, it is also likely that the number of infection would not plummet, because of a filthy hospital environment. Or worse, the number of infection will increase, due to the wrong awareness of considering that the latest hand-washing product would protect them no matter what thing happened.
In conclusion, the arguments in the article rest on too many questionable assumptions, the director has to explain the above assumptions to make his arguments more convincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2409 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.203 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.894 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.821 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 159, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...lean for a present hand-washing product so as to prevent serious patient infections. How...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, if, may, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, in conclusion, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2469.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33261339093 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99791797535 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490280777538 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 761.4 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.885855233 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.45 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.15 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214451092401 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0656713207609 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0938545642342 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0962059563103 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0836274134295 0.0628817314937 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.