The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The proposal to build new dormitories at Buckingham College raises important questions regarding it’s necessity. The author’s argument is rife with holes and assumptions, that should be carefully studied before any actions in that sense are taken.
First of all, it is important to analyze the author’s assumption that the existing dormitory spaces will become inadequate because of the nowadays’s enrollment growth. According to the passage, current trends show that the Buckingham’s enrollment will double over the next 50 years. It is not clear, however, the validity of that prediction, given that uncountable factors may have contributed to the present enrollment growth. If the cause of that growth is, for example, a current search for a specific course provided by the Buckingham College, and if the search for that course stops in the future, an enrollment decrease may be observed. That would make the author’s suggestion pointless; therefore, more information regarding the enrollment prediction’s is needed.
Closely linked to the aforementioned assumption is the bold hypothesis that prospective students are more likely to enroll at universities with attractive new dormitories. To strengthen his/her point of view, the author would benefit from showing facts that support this assertive. If, for example, Buckingham College had well evaluated courses, market recognized graduates and good studying facilities, then it would be reasonable to state that the new dormitories would be an attraction for more prospective students. On the other hand, if nothing else at the university were good, then the author’s assumption regarding the new dormitories would be unsounded.
Moreover, while it is not illogical to expect that the average rental raise observed in the recent years will make it more difficult for students to afford off-campus housing, this assumption lacks consistency when other facts are considered. Will the average rents continue to raise in the future, or is it possible that a market bubble is created, and they will drastically decrease somewhen? Are there any other options for students to live in, that can be both affordable and convenient? The answer for these and other questions can strengthen the author’s point of view if they confirm one’s expectations that the rents will continue to raise, and there is no other place for the students to live in.
Hence, while the author’s proposal does highlight a possibility, more information is required to accurately evaluate his/her point of view, providing the Buckingham College’s administrators with better tools to make a decision in this matter.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Will the average rents continue to raise in the future, or is it possible that a market bubble is created, and they will drastically decrease somewhen?
Error: somewhen Suggestion: No alternate word
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flaws:
There are some issues in three arguments, see a reference:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-8-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 2176 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.294 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.882 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.244 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, therefore, well, while, for example, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2298.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.61858190709 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20286679412 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511002444988 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 702.9 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.5532778305 57.8364921388 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.625 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5625 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 5.70786347227 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22846479848 0.218282227539 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0845888300882 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0632790721761 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143779119373 0.128457276422 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0567822355613 0.0628817314937 90% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.61 12.5979740519 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.