The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The author claims new dormitories would attract the prospective students and they would enroll at Buckingham. The author also states reasons to build new dormitories that the enrollment is growing and as per the current rate it will be double and the dormitories space would be inadequate for the students. He also states that the average rent prices have also increased and it would be difficult for students to stay off-campus. However, the author has made several dubious assumptions which are needed to address. This argument is logically flawed in several critical aspects.
To begin with, the author claim that attractive new dormitories will make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham is vague. I believe the factors which attract the students towards the college are researches going on in the college, quality of education, faculty, student-faculty ratio, tuition fess, etc. Attractive dorms is not a major factor. However, if the author would have mentioned explicitly how this factor will attract prospective students that the argument would have been more convincing.
Secondly, the author mentions that the enrollment is growing and it would be double in next 50 years. The 50 years time line is very long and anything could happen. It would happen that for 5 years there would be increase in students but due to some reasons after that the enrollment decreases very rapidly. This might happen if some great faculties leave the college or any reasons. And also there is not source mentioned or any specific data through which we could confirm the increase in enrollment.
Finally, the author states that the average rent prices of an apartment is the town is increasing and it would be difficult for the students to stay off-campus. The author has not mentioned and specific details and also there is average increase. There might be a case that a new shopping or new facility has been built and the increase in rent in that area but the area that students prefer to live which is near the campus has seen no increase in the rent. The increase in average rent does not clear the picture. However, the argument would be more convincing if explicitly stated the increase in rent of specific areas not the average.
Thus, due to the overstated assumptions the argument seems to be ill-founded. However, the argument would have been strengthened if the author would have mentioned specific details, numbers, source of the information provided, etc. With such confirming evidence the argument begins to cohere. Without it the argument is bereft of critical foundation and can't be deemed persuasive.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.988 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.937 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 386, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had mentioned'?
Suggestion: had mentioned
... a major factor. However, if the author would have mentioned explicitly how this factor will attract...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 288, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...here might be a case that a new shopping or new facility has been built and the i...
^^
Line 5, column 143, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had mentioned'?
Suggestion: had mentioned
...ld have been strengthened if the author would have mentioned specific details, numbers, source of th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...nt is bereft of critical foundation and cant be deemed persuasive.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, thus, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2200.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09259259259 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68048359143 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.425925925926 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 674.1 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.8777116418 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.652173913 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7826086957 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47826086957 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100623335679 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0325413507821 0.0743258471296 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486219321538 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0622055370727 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0496313369934 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.