The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping
malls throughout the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved two years ago by McAdam Road Builders, is
now badly cracked and marred by dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section
of Route 66, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition.
Appian Roadways has recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery, and it has hired a
new quality-control manager. Because of its superior work and commitment to quality, we
should contract with Appian Roadways rather than McAdam Road Builders to construct the
access roads for all our new shopping malls."
The vice president of a company that builds shopping malls
The vice president of shopping mall construction company suggests that they should land a contract with Appian Roadways to build access roadways to their new shopping malls. The author is convinced that the Appian Roadways have a superiority in their work and ensures better quality of construction than McAdam Road Builders. The author seems to be relying on unwarranted assumptions that might significantly weaken this argument. The author must be concerned and provide necessary answers to the following three questions to make a cogent case.
Are the traffic flow and type of traffic on the Route 101 and Route 66 same? Perhaps, the Route 101 constructed by the McAdam Road Builders are subjected to a larger traffic flow and the traffic consists of heavier vehicles in comparison to the Route 66 constructed by the Appian Roadways. Heavier Vehicles cause serious damage to roads and reduce the longevity of the roads significantly. It is possible the heavier vehicles are proscribed from using the Route 66 for transport and also that the total diurnal traffic flow is lesser than in Route 101. This can explain the damaged state of route 101 in comparison to route 66. The author must assess the classifications between the roads if any and the traffic flow and the maximum permissible loads of each to make an accurate assumption.
Do the roads belong to the same location? Perhaps the Route 101 is located in a place which experiences heavier rainfall or suffers from water clogging both on the surface and under the soil surface that losens up the asphalt bindings of the road in comparison to the Route 66. This can substantiate the reason for the damaged state of the two year old Route 101 in comparison to the four year old Route 66. Moreover different locations might result in different traffic conditions which would thus refering to the point made previously lead to discrepancies in the magnitude of degradation of quality of the two roads. The author should specify the location of the two Routes and the differences between the natural conditions endured by these routes is any.
Are the new quality control manager and workers who would be operating the newly purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery experienced? Perhaps the new quality-control manager might be a neophyte in this domain of work and has significantly low experience. It is possible with low experience it might be a difficult job to maintain the superior quality standards that the company promises. It is also possible that the worker who are supposed to operate the state-of-the-art machineries are not well rehearsed and experienced in using them in the first place. Owing to the advancedness of the machinery the workers and technicians might need sufficient training and work hours spent on the machinery to become conversant with it working and technical aspects. Thus though it may seem alluring but the author must assess the experience level of the newly appointed quality-control manager and the workers by conducting survey within the company and meeting with the manager before entrusting the job of construction to them.
In sum, the argument made by the author stands weak based on the questions that needs elaborate clarifications. The author must gather information about the Routes 101 and 66 and compare what they endure on a daily basis, taking their location into consideration. Extensive surveys must be conducted can be conducted to evaluate the skill and experience of the workers of the company. The author must reach out to the manager and have a discussion whether his past experiences and projects are noteable and sophisticated enough to make his suitable for this job. The above suggestions if considered by the author will strengthen the author's argument and make a cogent case.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 625 350
No. of Characters: 3144 1500
No. of Different Words: 269 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.03 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 229 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 181 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 122 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.038 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.155 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.231 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.302 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 327, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...construction than McAdam Road Builders. The author seems to be relying on unwarrant...
^^^
Line 1, column 432, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ght significantly weaken this argument. The author must be concerned and provide ne...
^^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...mparison to the four year old Route 66. Moreover different locations might result in dif...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 762, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... with it working and technical aspects. Thus though it may seem alluring but the aut...
^^^^
Line 5, column 460, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experiences'.
Suggestion: experiences
...nager and have a discussion whether his past experiences and projects are noteable and sophistic...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 633, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...dered by the author will strengthen the authors argument and make a cogent case.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, well, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 11.1786427146 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3182.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 623.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10754414125 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99599519102 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90386705144 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 204.123752495 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438202247191 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 969.3 705.55239521 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5169284416 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.384615385 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9615384615 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.96153846154 5.70786347227 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165064937138 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0474978195713 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0484841056913 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0903517341664 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0599237258557 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 144.0 98.500998004 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.