The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company.
"During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products very similar to those produced at our factory, but its work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers are significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents. Panoply's superior safety record can therefore be attributed to its shorter work shifts, which allow its employees to get adequate amounts of rest."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
According to the vice president of a manufacturing company, claims that Panoply's superior safety record can be attributed to shorter work shifts. This argument may seem plausible in first glance. There are, however, a number of alternative explanations regarding the number of accidents at Panoply industires, the working conditions in different factories as well as the effect of shorter work shifts.
To begin with, there are some rival explanations which could account for the fact that accidents in newly opened factory are more than that at Panoply. In accordance with the vice president, workers at their new factory reported 30 percent more accidents. However, it is probable that the number of workers in the new factory are far more than the factory in Panoply. For example, if the number of workers here is as twice as the number in Panoply, the percentage of accidents with regard to total number of workers is relatively less than Panoply. Besides, it is equally possible that the report in Panoply is invalid. Maybe some small accidents in Panoply is not reported or recorded, while in the new factory, the manager pay attention to every accident, even a small one. If any of the aforementioned condition is the case, the argument would be untenable.
In addition, the fact regarding the accidents number may also be attributed to some alternative explanations. It is likely that the working condition in Panoply is better than this new factory. For instance, the quality of the equipment in Panoply is better, or perhaps the factory in Panoply attach more significance to educating safety rules. If this is the case, the accidents will be reduced even if its work shifts are the same. Likewise, it is equally possible that the workers in Panoply is more proficient. With more skills and experiences, they will be less likely to get injured. Therefore, it is of paramount importance for us to investigate the working condition as well as the workers in two factories, so as to justify the argument.
Finally, we also need to examine whether the longer work shifts would contribute to fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. The author implys that after reduce work shift, workers will not be fatigue. However, it is possible that workers in the new factory always go to party until late at night. Under such circumstances, they will also feel asleep in the workplace. Likewise, maybe they suffer from huge stress so that they can not sleep well every day. Therefore, we need to know whether short works shifts indeed lead to sleep deprivation before we can accept the argument.
In conclusion, we need more information mentioned above to rule out the alternative explanations to further evaluate the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2220 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.912 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.669 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.263 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.792 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 717, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...s well as the workers in two factories, so as to justify the argument. Finally, we al...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to rule out the alternative explanations to further evaluate the argument.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, likewise, may, regarding, so, therefore, well, while, as to, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, as well as, to begin with, with regard to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2290.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 452.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06637168142 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78574175309 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442477876106 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 743.4 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.8747767053 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.4166666667 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8333333333 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.58333333333 5.70786347227 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261521667998 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0790696873277 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.073139816966 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134360154531 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0922502495894 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.