The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.
"Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, that the number of people in our listening area over fifty years of age has increased dramatically, while our total number of listeners has declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful. The switch from rock-and-roll music to 24-hour news will attract older listeners and secure KNOW radio's future."
The author argues to switch from rock-and-roll music to 24-hour news because of less number of listeners with a view to secure KNOW radio's future. Stated this way, the arguments fail to consider several key facts, shreds of evidence, circumstances, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. Moreover, the author provides poor reasoning and inappropriate assumptions. After prim analysis of the author's argument, it can be seen that the shreds of evidence provided by the author do not support the argument to a greater extent. Thus, it can be concluded that the argument is incomplete and improper.
Firstly, it is not at all necessary that this city's listeners should be same as those of the neighboring cities. As stated by the author, that he should consider changing the rock and roll music to 24-hour news is completely unconvincing and derived from other cities statistics. Rather, the author should consider this city's statistics to conclude to any decision. Thus, the author should not consider poor shreds of evidence from other cities rather depend on the people's opinion in this city.
Secondly, the reason of decline in sales of recorded music might be because people like to hear it on the radio or might have other devices which provide them with the same music in much cheaper amount. Also, the stores taken into consideration might have a poor collection of music and thus results in lower sales. For example, if an average number of people like to listen to Arjit's song and the music stores have less collection of that artist then obviously the overall sales will decrease. Thus, the author before concluding from a given statistics should check for its validity and whether it is coming from the right source or now. Moreover, the author should himself look into the topic and questions like why there is a decline in sales or number listeners should be asked to get a greater insight of the topic.
Thirdly, the radio's rock and roll music collection might have bored the listener and people might find the music old. Moreover, the author should take into consideration the increasing fad for the type of rock and roll music and should try to update the music collection. For example, the listeners want to hear the latest music by Martin and the radio station does not play any of his songs then it is right from the listeners perspective to stop listening to the radio. And hence, there might be a decrease in the number of listeners leaving behind more number of fifty aged people and above who are there just to listen to their favorite music.
In conclusion, it can be stated that the author's argument is unconvincing as it stands. Further to support, the author can provide concrete shreds of evidence and assumptions, perhaps by undertaking a detailed survey of the listeners of KNOW radio. Finally, the author can evaluate the given situation by completely understanding situation by doing rounds of question about how/why there is a decline in the listeners of rock and roll music.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
here goes a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/following-appeared-memorandum-ge…
================
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2459 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.793 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.509 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.762 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 398, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...assumptions. After prim analysis of the authors argument, it can be seen that the shred...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cities'' or 'city's'?
Suggestion: cities'; city's
...ely unconvincing and derived from other cities statistics. Rather, the author should c...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 467, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
... from other cities rather depend on the peoples opinion in this city. Secondly, the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 419, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'listeners'' or 'listener's'?
Suggestion: listeners'; listener's
... of his songs then it is right from the listeners perspective to stop listening to the ra...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 42, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...n conclusion, it can be stated that the authors argument is unconvincing as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 89, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
... argument is unconvincing as it stands. Further to support, the author can provide conc...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2513.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.908203125 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57968628743 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435546875 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 775.8 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.6378160673 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.666666667 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.380952381 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38095238095 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215784000378 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0715246599507 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674660558668 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126530258986 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0465240936003 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.