The following appeared in a memorandum from the new president of the Patriot car manufacturing company In the past the body styles of Patriot cars have been old fashioned and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors cars But now since many r | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memorandum from the new president of the Patriot car manufacturing company.

"In the past, the body styles of Patriot cars have been old-fashioned, and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors' cars. But now, since many regions in this country report rapid increases in the numbers of newly licensed drivers, we should be able to increase our share of the market by selling cars to this growing population. Thus, we should discontinue our oldest models and concentrate instead on manufacturing sporty cars. We can also improve the success of our marketing campaigns by switching our advertising to the Youth Advertising agency, which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink.

The president of the Patriot car manufacturing company has recommended a number of changes in order to increase the sale of the company but these recommendations are all based on assumptions made by the president. Without evidence that these assumptions are correct, the recommendations may not prove as fruitful to the comapny as the president wants it to be. The following points will explain in further detail what all evidence will affect the validity of the argument.

Firstly, the president talks about the lower sales of Patriot cars as compared to their competitors. But the president has provided no evidence that the lower sale was due to the body styles of the Patriot cars. There could have been a number of other reasons, like lack of marketing and advertising, difference in cost, consumer experience, durability and maintainence, etc why the sale of Patriot cars was lesser than its competitors. Without narrowing down the actual reason for the lesser sales than the competitors and assuming that it was due to the old-fashioned body styles, the president will not achieve his goal of increasing the sales.

Secondly, the author states that there is a rapid increase in the newly licensed drivers, and to appeal to this crowd, the president wants to make changes in the Patriot cars like discountinuing older models and concentrating on manufacturing sporty cars. But the author has provided no evidence that this crowd of newly licensed drivers that he wants to appeal to, prefer sporty cars. The people who are newly licensed can belong to any age group and the rapid increase in the number of drivers could be due to reasons like the increased affordibility of cars or due to increased popularity of cars. There is no guarantee that the newly licensed drivers belong to only young people who like sporty cars, they can very well also include a large number of middle aged people who are just now getting their license for the first time. Also, there is no evidence provided that the older models are unsuccessful. There can be a high chance that the older models are the most successful and popular ones and discontinuing them will have the opposite of the intended effect. That is why without the proper evidence, the author's recommendation will have no positive effect on the company.

The author also mentions about switching the advertising to the Youth Advertising agency, which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink. But soft drinks and cars are completely different things and the author has not provided any evidence that the company has had any success in advertising cars as well. There is also no evidence that the audience that was targeted for thr advertisement of the soft drink is the same as the audience that will be targetted for the cars. Thus there is no sure way of knowing that the Youth Advertising agency will be successful in advertising Patriot cars.

Therefore, the president's heart is in the right place as he wants to boost the company's success but he has not provided enough sound evidence which will prove his recommendation fruitful.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 738, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...y cars, they can very well also include a large number of middle aged people who are just now get...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1115, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...is why without the proper evidence, the authors recommendation will have no positive ef...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 491, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ce that will be targetted for the cars. Thus there is no sure way of knowing that th...
^^^^
Line 9, column 16, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'presidents'' or 'president's'?
Suggestion: presidents'; president's
...rtising Patriot cars. Therefore, the presidents heart is in the right place as he wants...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2596.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 520.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99230769231 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7856882761 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.417307692308 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 815.4 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3150737672 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.631578947 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3684210526 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.15789473684 5.70786347227 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203267390519 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0694826573596 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651317976908 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112234180776 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0658962852997 0.0628817314937 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments