The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores. "In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
In citing that their store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses last month, by closing earlier than normal as well as, by also reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago, the owner of Movies Galore in a memorandum concludes that in order to increase profits in their other nine stores, without jeopardizing their reputation for offering great movies at low prices, the same changes that were implemented in Marston store should be implemented in all stores as well. However, the author's assertion as it currently stands is considerably flawed and can be evaluated by answering three questions.
First of all, are Marson and all other nine Movies Galore stores roughly comparable? In other words, can circumstances faced by Marson be used to make a generalization and prediction of all other Movies Galore stores? It is possible that the stores are not similar at all. Perhaps, the store in Marston is situated in a bucolic area and the reduction of its operating expense would not significantly affect the effective running of the store. It may be that the store in Marston has a devoted customer base that do not even care how the store is run and are only interested in the movies they want to rent. If any of the above scenarios has merit, then the author's argument is significantly weakened.
Is the decline in the store profits caused by the operating expenses? Is it possible that no other factor is involed in this decline? However, this may not be the case. The author presumes, with no justification, that the decline in profits is caused by nothing other than the expenses for the stores operation. Maybe the decline is caused by the opening of another store by a different movie-rental company close to all other nine Movies Galore stores. Moreover, the new stores may have lured in most customers that have been patronizing Movies Galore stores in the past. It could be that a new technology has sufficed that demands movie enthusiasts to stream movies online rather than renting the movies in a store. Without convincing answers to these questions, the author's argument is not viable.
Finally, are the changes implemented by Marston store last month and five years ago, still bringing in increased return? It is possible, that the changes implemented by Marston store are no longer viable. It could be that the changes worked when they were first implemented but are now causing disasters rather than increase. Perhaps, the returns are even now worse than when the changes were first implemented. Even if these changes are implemented by the other stores, it may follow the pathway of Marston store by bringing in increased returns and then reducing drastically. Therefore, if evidence about the returns of Marston stores are not provided, then the argument is more wishful than substantive.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumption. If the author had provided evidence, then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the author's recommendation to increase the profit of Movie Galore's stores by reducing operating expenses.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2624 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 202 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.925 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.31 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 344, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to increase profits in their other nine stores, without jeopardizing their reput...
^^
Line 1, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s that were implemented in Marston store should be implemented in all stores as w...
^^
Line 1, column 548, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ted in all stores as well. However, the authors assertion as it currently stands is con...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 105, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'circumstance'
Suggestion: circumstance
...roughly comparable? In other words, can circumstances faced by Marson be used to make a gener...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 657, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...the above scenarios has merit, then the authors argument is significantly weakened. Is...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 294, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...nothing other than the expenses for the stores operation. Maybe the decline is caused ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 769, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...vincing answers to these questions, the authors argument is not viable. Finally, are t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... to fully evaluate the viability of the authors recommendation to increase the profit o...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, in conclusion, as well as, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2676.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 529.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05860113422 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76830563126 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.421550094518 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 862.2 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 92.5434488797 57.8364921388 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.5 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0416666667 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330591779927 0.218282227539 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103712226077 0.0743258471296 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0979471473362 0.0701772020484 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20806489208 0.128457276422 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0980520452949 0.0628817314937 156% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 30.5 12.3882235529 246% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.