The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the
argument.
The argument that Movie Galore should reduce operating hours makes a number of unwarranted assumptions as regarding it assumption that the policy of reducing operaating hour will lead to increase in profit taken as a whole, these unstated assumptions render the argument highly suspect. Indeed, if these assumptions do not hold true, the argument totally falls apart.
The biggest leap in the argument is the assumption that reducing Movies galore stores’ operating hours will improve profits. This is seriously flawed as no correlation was established between the stores’ operating hours and its revenue generation. The case might be that the more hours the store opens, the more profit the store makes. We need evidence showing the connection between the store’s operating hour and its revenue generation. Unless this evidence is provided, the argument remains flawed.
Another leap in the argument is the assumption that because Marston store received few complaints from customers regarding the policy of reduction of operating time, the the policy is effective. This is flawed because Martson might not have much customers to complain about its way of business. Martson store might be located in an environment in which the denizens are not that inclined to watching movies. Also, customers might have decided not to complain but to start patronizing other movies stores Martson’s store closes at the time they needed to rent movies. Thus, in order to determine the validity of this argumet, Movies Galore store must provide the evidence showing the amount of customers that complained, and comparing this to the total amount of customers. Also, it needs to show the amount of customers that patronize Martson’s store prior to the institution of the the policy and the amount of customers that patronize the store after the institution of the policy. If there is decrease in the number of customers that patronize Martson store, then, the plan to reduce operating hours is not feasible.
Finally, the argument assumes because reduction of operating hours work for Martson store, the policy is going to work for other stores. All movies galore’s stores are located in different locus. Also, different locations with different characteristics. Business might be booming in downtown but be looking bleary in other places. Thus, Movie Galore store needs to provide the evidence show the statistics of sales in all branches to determine if the policy will yield to increase in pofit or decline in profit.
However, the argument can be strengthened Movie Galore stores could show the effect of operating hours on business profit or loss. Movie Galore store also needs to show the evidence that Martson store’s adoption of the policy was effective. Finally, the Movie Galore store needs to show that what works for the downtown branch will work for all other branch.
In conclusion, the argument that Movie Galore’s reduction in operating hours will result to increase in profit margin makes numerous unwarranted assumptions that seriously undermines its validity. Unless these assumptions are addressed, the argument totally falls apart. Thus, Movie Galore store might be making a major mistake by reducing it operating hours.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2659 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.183 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.548 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.52 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.06 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... policy of reduction of operating time, the the policy is effective. This is flawed bec...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... policy of reduction of operating time, the the policy is effective. This is flawed bec...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 242, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...s flawed because Martson might not have much customers to complain about its way of ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 880, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...son’s store prior to the institution of the the policy and the amount of customers that...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 880, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...son’s store prior to the institution of the the policy and the amount of customers that...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, look, regarding, so, then, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2744.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 513.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34892787524 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75914943092 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65263828294 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.387914230019 0.468620217663 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 860.4 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0293637301 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.76 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.52 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.16 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301969960701 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110102983489 0.0743258471296 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.086308014851 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193982078764 0.128457276422 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0518190178504 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.