The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The owner of the Movie Galore, a chain of movie-rental store, recommends to reduce the operating expenses of the movie Galore's ten rental stores. In an attempt to shore up his idea, he gives example of downtown Marston. However, on meticulous assay of this memorandum, the owner fails to provide extra hard facts to shore up his argument, so that the assumption and the final conclusion becomes utterly skeptical. Before I accede to the recommendation put forwarded by the owner, he should address the concerns raised below.
First of all, the manager mentions that the chain business is suffering from decline in profit. In order to reverse it, he claims that raising rental cost is totally impractical. Nevertheless, the owner fails to provide necessary premises based on which he claims so. As he says, his business have good positive reputation in the market, then there might be peoples willing to rent the stores even at high price. Hence, the owner should make clear why he ignores the possibility of increasing the rental cost instead of having good market reputation. In similar contest, he has not given clear premises based on which he recommends to lower the operational cost; he should clarify, if there was any research , or survey, which suggested so.
Similarly, the owner is not clear while giving the example that in downtown Marston he significantly decreased the opening hour of the movie stores. If reducing hours really helps to gain extra profit, why does not he think of reducing this time to further 3 pm in lieu of present 6 pm. Additionally, the owner also claims that the movie store has eliminated the movies that were released 5 years ago. Now I doubt, how a movie hall can have good reputation by displaying the movies released five years before. Hence, the owner should elucidate the hidden logics present in the argument.
Finally, and probably most importantly, the owner unfairly assumes that reducing operational expenditure is cure-all to the current financial woes faced by the movie business. There might have several ways and means of promoting business - like increasing advertisement, appointing some public figures as its ambassadors, and so forth. But, it is not clear, instead of having many cheap and obviously propitious methods, why the owner opted to reduce the operational cost - by reducing the time it opens.
Finally, at the end of the day, the argument, presented by the owner of a movie business, is comprised of many chink in armors. It needs extra hard facts to make it more reliable. However, at the present state, the argument deserve no dice.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 63, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends reducing'.
Suggestion: recommends reducing
... Galore, a chain of movie-rental store, recommends to reduce the operating expenses of the movie Gal...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 622, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends lowering', 'recommends lowing'.
Suggestion: recommends lowering; recommends lowing
... given clear premises based on which he recommends to lower the operational cost; he should clarify...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 708, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hould clarify, if there was any research , or survey, which suggested so. Simil...
^^
Line 5, column 219, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'thinks'.
Suggestion: thinks
...s to gain extra profit, why does not he think of reducing this time to further 3 pm i...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...years ago. Now I doubt, how a movie hall can have good reputation by displaying t...
^^
Line 10, column 91, Rule ID: IS_COMPRISED_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of' or 'is composed of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of; is composed of
...ented by the owner of a movie business, is comprised of many chink in armors. It needs extra ha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'nevertheless', 'really', 'similarly', 'so', 'then', 'while', 'first of all']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.215010141988 0.25644967241 84% => OK
Verbs: 0.160243407708 0.15541462614 103% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0912778904665 0.0836205057962 109% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0689655172414 0.0520304965353 133% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0446247464503 0.0272364105082 164% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.105476673428 0.125424944231 84% => OK
Participles: 0.0486815415822 0.0416121511921 117% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.70595135002 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0283975659229 0.026700313972 106% => OK
Particles: 0.00405679513185 0.001811407834 224% => OK
Determiners: 0.103448275862 0.113004496875 92% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0141987829615 0.0255425247493 56% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0162271805274 0.0127820249294 127% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2615.0 2731.13054187 96% => OK
No of words: 437.0 446.07635468 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.98398169336 6.12365571057 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.356979405034 0.378187486979 94% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.272311212815 0.287650121315 95% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.180778032037 0.208842608468 87% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.112128146453 0.135150697306 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70595135002 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 207.018472906 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533180778032 0.469332199767 114% => OK
Word variations: 61.7687596912 52.1807786196 118% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 20.8095238095 23.2022227129 90% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.8352144506 57.7814097925 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.523809524 141.986410481 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8095238095 23.2022227129 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.666666666667 0.724660767414 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 3.58251231527 167% => OK
Readability: 48.040645091 51.9672348444 92% => OK
Elegance: 1.34814814815 1.8405768891 73% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.433326902362 0.441005458295 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.106279658988 0.135418324435 78% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0716894848138 0.0829849096947 86% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.546293054117 0.58762219726 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.143435989879 0.147661913831 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.174730452215 0.193483328276 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108169627807 0.0970749176394 111% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.432869009003 0.42659136922 101% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0453849174136 0.0774707102158 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.300209838759 0.312017818177 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0802300701842 0.0698173142475 115% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.33743842365 72% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.87684729064 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.82512315271 83% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.82389162562 106% => OK
Total topic words: 13.0 14.657635468 89% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.