The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of
video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to
decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain
how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the given memorandum presented by Movies Galore owner has concluded that the operational changes which were made in another of their store will help in improving the profit of the rest of the Movie Galore's video rental stores. Although, it appears that this strategy might work in reducing the loss incurred by the video store but this argument needs to provide answers to some of the queries to corroborate this.
The author has assumed that the operational changes implemented by one of the stores will have the same impact on rest of the stores. It is plausible that changes which worked for one would not work for the other. Moreover, there is no data regarding the profit earned by the downtown store after implementation of these changes. Giving information only about decreasing operational expenses cannot help to bolster that these change will lead to profit. The results of the changes should be presented here in order to discuss how much have these changes made an impact on the profit of the store. Once the results are provided we will be in a better position to analyse the effects of these changes.
It has been mentioned that the store at downtown closed at 6:00 pm rather that 9:00 pm and the same should be implemented by Movies Galore store. The operational timings of both the stores should be given here in order to understand which store works for how many hours. It is a possibility that the customers prefer to come to the Movies Galore store at night time. So, closing the store at 6:00 would lead to loss rather than profit. Both of the store's preference of customers and their frequency should be presented in the argument to help in understanding that replication of the timings will lead to profit.
Moreover, the elimination of movies which have been released five years ago can in fact lead to loss of customer base. For example, there are some people who are fond of old classics and may be they go to Movies Galore just because of getting these movies. Now, if these movies are not made available they would stop coming to the store which will lead to loss. Hence, it should be presented in the argument what kind of movies both of the video stores' customers generally rent. According to the results of these study, changes should be implemented.
From the above statements, it is evident that there are many questions which are left unanswered by this argument. The answers to all these questions would make this argument a valid one which is not just based on erroneous assumptions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...is argument needs to provide answers to some of the queries to corroborate this. The aut...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 598, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e an impact on the profit of the store. Once the results are provided we will be in ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stores'' or 'store's'?
Suggestion: stores'; store's
...to loss rather than profit. Both of the stores preference of customers and their frequ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 188, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: maybe
...people who are fond of old classics and may be they go to Movies Galore just because o...
^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'hence', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'regarding', 'so', 'for example', 'in fact', 'kind of']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.234541577825 0.25644967241 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.183368869936 0.15541462614 118% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0426439232409 0.0836205057962 51% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0362473347548 0.0520304965353 70% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0234541577825 0.0272364105082 86% => OK
Prepositions: 0.142857142857 0.125424944231 114% => OK
Participles: 0.0682302771855 0.0416121511921 164% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.47877023268 2.79052419416 89% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0405117270789 0.026700313972 152% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.136460554371 0.113004496875 121% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0426439232409 0.0255425247493 167% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0234541577825 0.0127820249294 183% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2531.0 2731.13054187 93% => OK
No of words: 439.0 446.07635468 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.76537585421 6.12365571057 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.321184510251 0.378187486979 85% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.216400911162 0.287650121315 75% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.141230068337 0.208842608468 68% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.100227790433 0.135150697306 74% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47877023268 2.79052419416 89% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 207.018472906 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423690205011 0.469332199767 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 46.0856788334 52.1807786196 88% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.039408867 100% => OK
Sentence length: 21.95 23.2022227129 95% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.7796241379 57.7814097925 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.55 141.986410481 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.95 23.2022227129 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.5 0.724660767414 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 43.5900911162 51.9672348444 84% => OK
Elegance: 1.83333333333 1.8405768891 100% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372744590089 0.441005458295 85% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.130842328344 0.135418324435 97% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0675996859147 0.0829849096947 81% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.603647569939 0.58762219726 103% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.127092337611 0.147661913831 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.163929297761 0.193483328276 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0912569726235 0.0970749176394 94% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.457997673295 0.42659136922 107% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.153824454377 0.0774707102158 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.258223675072 0.312017818177 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0906760658921 0.0698173142475 130% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.82512315271 124% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.