The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of
video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to
decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and
explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author recommends that the Movies Galores, a chain that releases movies, reduces its operating expenses by closing the shop earlier and diminishing the stock. In what follows, I will formulate some questions, which are needed to answer in order to understand whether such a recommendation is effective.
First, the author considers a store in downtown Morston which decreased the work time and the stock one month ago. What he neglects to mention is whether since this operation, such a store has been increasing his profit. If this was not the case, it would be absurd to extend an unsuccessful strategy to other stores of Movies Galores.
For the sake of argument, we can concede that this manoeuvre was effective. What the author should do in order to bolster his argument is to substiantiate the analogy between Morston’s store and other stores of Movies Galores. For example, imagine that customers of Movies Galores store located in Rome go back home from work after 7:00 pm. If this store cut the work time by closing at 6:00, as happened in Morston, he would prevent its main costumers from buy its products. The crucial question then is: are the new less expenses greater than the new incoming? If so, the author’s recommendation should not be implemented for the store located in Rome. Moreover, suppose that the customers of the store in Rome are old movie fans. If such a store did not sell old movies anymore, its profit in Rome would drastically be reduced. The central question is like the one mentioned above: is the new profit lower than the new expenses? If so, the store in Rome should not follow the recommendation of the author.
The author takes for granted that the reputation of selling high quality movies at low prices is essential to Movies Galores. However, is it so important? Perhaps, Movies Galores may sell low quality movies at low prices in order to increase its profit. Of course, this may mean a change in the customers. However, what if there were more customers? If this was the case, the profit of Movies Galores would rise and there would be no necessity of following the author’s recommendation.
In conclusion, although the author recommends an operation with the intention of saving Movies Galores from an economic problem, it would be better to explore certain variables before implementing it. First, the author should demonstrate that the manoeuvre in Morston’s store has been effective. Second, he has to enhance the analogy between Morston’s store and other stores belonging to Movies Galores chain. Third, it would be wiser to consider other possible operations, such as selling low quality movies and to prove that they are not as successful as the one recommended.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 2203 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.789 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.6 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.164 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 524, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun expenses is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...e crucial question then is: are the new less expenses greater than the new incoming?...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, third, as to, for example, in conclusion, of course, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2299.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 458.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01965065502 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8047421684 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454148471616 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 716.4 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2029386654 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.96 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.32 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126475872786 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0407239013259 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0330375317071 0.0701772020484 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0802888246956 0.128457276422 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0297386673137 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.