The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The owner of movies galore makes the recommendation that his stores should reduce operating expenses in order to offset a recent decline in profits. Within the past month, one of his stores in downtown Marston reduced its operating costs by closing at 6pm rather than 9pm, as well as reduced stock to only movies released within the last 5 years. He makes the recommendation to implement these same changes for the other nine stores. The owner must address missing information in order to strengthen his recommendation.
The owner of the movie chain must first discuss how long this "recent decline" in profits has taken place. Perhaps the decline has only been for the last business quarter. It is possible that the last business quarter fell during warm summer months when people tend to be outside enjoying the weather, rather than spending time inside watching movies. People tend to take their vacations during the summer months and wouldn't be home to support their local movie rental store. However, if the recent decline in profits was over the course of the year, the owner would have a stronger argument that profits are indeed declining. He must first clarify how long profits have been declining before jumping to the conclusion that decreasing operating costs would be beneficial.
Secondly, the owner fails to discuss the hours of most business. He recommends closing stores earlier at 6pm rather than 9pm. This could become problematic if a majority of his business occurs between the hours of 5 and 8pm. Many people decide to stop and pick up a movie to watch on their way home from work which would be in the evening hours. The owner could be missing out on many profits by deciding to close earlier. In addition, every store is in a different location with different clientele. one store may make most profits during earlier hours, while other stores may attract evening business. He must first analyze when most profits are made for each individual store before deciding to shorten business hours for all ten of them.
Lastly, returning to differences in clientele for each individual store, the owner would be wise to analyze the demographic of each store's clients. One store may be in a location where many young adults live that prefer to see the latest releases. However, another store may be in a location with many families or senior citizens who may prefer the classics. By removing all stock of movies five years and older for a store who serves mostly clientele looking for classic movies would be detrimental to business. The owner must first address the makeup of his customers for each individual store before stripping his stock of older movies.
The owner of movies galore has been experiencing a decline in profits and recommends two major changes to lower operating expenses. He would benefit most by addressing some of the issues discussed above before making any rash changes.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2382 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.39 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.458 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.318 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.153 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 524, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...order to strengthen his recommendation. The owner of the movie chain must first ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 431, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... vacations during the summer months and wouldnt be home to support their local movie re...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 788, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng operating costs would be beneficial. Secondly, the owner fails to discuss the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 506, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...rent location with different clientele. one store may make most profits during earl...
^^^
Line 5, column 609, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er stores may attract evening business. He must first analyze when most profits ...
^^
Line 5, column 749, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ten business hours for all ten of them. Lastly, returning to differences in clie...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 645, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re stripping his stock of older movies. The owner of movies galore has been expe...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 170, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...s. He would benefit most by addressing some of the issues discussed above before making an...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 237, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d above before making any rash changes.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, lastly, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, in addition, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2449.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99795918367 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4982034361 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471428571429 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 752.4 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3386813563 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.96 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.12 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166950335144 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0533298157655 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.065404739754 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107561438293 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0640395468767 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.