The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this argument, the author claims that parents should consider enrolling their child in the Mozart School of Music. However, careful consideration of the argument reveals that it lends no credible support to the claim and makes three leaps in logic.
First of all, the author's claim the Mozart School has the most distinguished musicians in the area unfairly assumes that the school has musicians of wide range for each genre and each instrument. Yet, the author's argument is not substantiated. In fact, the author does not mention what musical instrument the musicians play and what genres are their favorites. No information is given about the styles, genres, or musical instruments of the distinguished musicians. Lacking such information, we cannot tell if the number of distinguished musicians for each instrument is balanced or not. It could be that most of the musicians are piano soloist and majored classical music only, so there are no one who can professionally teach other instruments or rock music. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide information about the musical instrument and major genre of each musician. Without such information, it is hasty to consider that the Mozart School of Music is the first choice for parents.
Next, the author's assumption that all students would like to become highly paid professional musicians is not well-supported. As Mozart School of Music accepts children at all ability and age levels without audition, each student must have different purpose of taking music lessons. It could be that some students are taking lessons for hobby and just wanted to play a few songs for fun. Or it could be that some students want to go to universities and conservatories in Germany for further studey after graduating the Mozart School. No information is given that every student has the same goal of becoming professional musician. Unless the author gives further information that the Mozart School is suitable for further education or learning for pastime, it is hasty to conclude that enrolling in the Mozart School of Music is the best choice for children.
Finally, the author's argument that the Mozart School accepts children without audition assumes that each student in music lessons can have different skills. Because the level of each student can vary from the beginner to the advanced, accepting students without audition can trigger some music lessons to be mixed with novice and expert students. It could also be that some students want elite classical music lessons to prepare for conservatories or musical universities, while others want to play rock band music with other students just for fun. To strengthen his or her argument, the author should provide information that the school is offering various classes and lessons. Without such information, the author's claim that the Mozart School is the first choice sounds unpersuasive.
To sum, the author's claim that the Mozart School of Music is the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons is logically flawed based on the above mentioned reasons. To strengthen his or her argument, the author needs to provide other factors and conditions. Without such information, the author's claim remains unreasonable.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 523 350
No. of Characters: 2698 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.782 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.159 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.693 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 152 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.792 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.751 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.517 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ach genre and each instrument. Yet, the authors argument is not substantiated. In fact,...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... first choice for parents. Next, the authors assumption that all students would like...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 14, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...st choice for children. Finally, the authors argument that the Mozart School accepts...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, so, then, well, while, in fact, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2755.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 523.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26768642447 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77021204571 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.399617590822 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 817.2 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7632519612 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.791666667 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7916666667 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.29166666667 5.70786347227 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.428152856544 0.218282227539 196% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.146023061856 0.0743258471296 196% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.140564691788 0.0701772020484 200% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279323114378 0.128457276422 217% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329672980744 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.