The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site."The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age

Essay topics:

The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.

"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The Mozart School of Music Web site's argument offers an interesting view that their school should be the first choice for parents to consider enrolling their child in music lessons for seemingly sound reasons. However, there are some obvious flaws in the argument's ratiocination, and thus its proposal requires a closer look.

To begin with, the argument delivers its view by stating the nonexistence of auditions or any prerequisites of students. But it should be noticed that there is no relevance between this fact and the quality of Mozart School's pedagogical standard, which is believed to be more concerned by the parents. What's more, many students who want to matriculate in a music school should possess some skills about at least one kind of music instruments, and that the Mozart School has no audition actually suggests unevenness among the students, which may not gratify the parents.

The argument also backs its proposal by claiming that the school provide a large variety of musical instruments and styles and genres. While it is true that this proffers a wide range of selections for students, it fails to demonstrate the speciality of the school in certain kinds of instruments and styles. And most students will choose only one form each. Therefore, this statement of variety does not back the site's proposal effectively.

Claiming that the faculty includes some most well-known musicians, the site implies that the school can offer the best education in the area. However, the validity of this claim is unknown. Maybe these musicians only allow the school to add their name to the faculty, but never show up in the campus. Even if they do show up, there is no evidence suggesting that a master must be good at teaching. So this claim, unfortunately, is a invalid point.

Finally, the site suggests that if the students choose to attend their school, they are more likely to be successful as many graduates have been. Even if what it says about the graduates proves authentic, it does not guarantee the achievement of any certain student. A school will always has some outstanding graduates, as well as many ordinary ones. So individual success has more to do with personal diligence.

In sum, the website's argument cannot provide a safe base for its proposal. To attract more students and their parents, it may benefit from underscoring the quality of pedagogical methods and the environment the school can offer.

Votes
Average: 8.2 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguments'' or 'argument's'?
Suggestion: arguments'; argument's
...er, there are some obvious flaws in the arguments ratiocination, and thus its proposal re...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 303, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ed to be more concerned by the parents. Whats more, many students who want to matricu...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 415, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'sites'' or 'site's'?
Suggestion: sites'; site's
... statement of variety does not back the sites proposal effectively. Claiming that t...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 432, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ching. So this claim, unfortunately, is a invalid point. Finally, the site sugg...
^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...y certain student. A school will always has some outstanding graduates, as well as ...
^^^
Line 6, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'websites'' or 'website's'?
Suggestion: websites'; website's
... with personal diligence. In sum, the websites argument cannot provide a safe base for...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, may, so, then, therefore, thus, well, while, at least, kind of, as well as, it is true, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2034.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03465346535 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70586107341 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529702970297 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 624.6 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.0396288353 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.7 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.85 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325795277457 0.218282227539 149% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821730823587 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127024339724 0.0701772020484 181% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.171947476905 0.128457276422 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.132457281219 0.0628817314937 211% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 1989 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.923 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.25 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.85 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5