The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine."A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep t

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The author undergirded his/her argument about prosperity of business with the study conducted upon 300 executives and correlated their rate of sleep per night with the success of the business. While the argument looks quite exciting, it leaves several holes unfilled and questions unanswered.

Citing the study, the author concluded that the average rate of sleep per night of a successful business' executives is 6 hours. But, there is no mention of the counting of the men and women studied. Perhaps the most of the executives studied were women, and due to their natural tendency, they sleep 6 hours a day. In that case , the sleep rate is not the factor affecting the success. Even if we assume that the mentioned study was taken by meticulous calculation of ratio of men and women, the age factor could also be another factor affecting the sleep rate. In that case , the age would become the limiting factor for the businesses.

Secondly, there was no sign of globalization of the study present in the author's argument. Perhaps the executives studied were from a certain area of the world, where due to whether conditions, the need of sleep could be fulfilled by sleeping 6 hours, and hence, cannot be the general case universally. Considering this unstated assumptions, argument seems suspicious of exaggerating the study he used to back the argument.

Additionally, one might suspect of the options given to the humans under examination. Quite possibly the question was asked with only two options to tick due to general perception of sleep rate: less than 6 or exactly 6 , which left the folks with greater than 6 hours unattempted.
Apart of sleep rate, the internal environment and facilities provided by the successful firms can be a factor leading to prosperity of the company, and author failed to give any such example of success in a harsh environment. If examined properly, the flexible environment of the firm might have been the core reason behind the success.

Hence, it is no doubt doctor's prescription to sleep at least 6 hours a day, but author is failed to provide strong reasons to back his argument, and consequently the argument cannot be acted upon untill and unless these assumptions should be properly stated and answered.

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Average: 5.9 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 103, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...siness with the study conducted upon 300 executives and correlated their rate of ...
^^
Line 3, column 106, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'executive'?
Suggestion: executive
...leep per night of a successful business executives is 6 hours. But, there is no mention o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 121, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of a successful business executives is 6 hours. But, there is no mention of the c...
^^
Line 3, column 303, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to their natural tendency, they sleep 6 hours a day. In that case , the sleep ra...
^^
Line 3, column 330, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... they sleep 6 hours a day. In that case , the sleep rate is not the factor affect...
^^
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r affecting the sleep rate. In that case , the age would become the limiting facto...
^^
Line 5, column 74, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...obalization of the study present in the authors argument. Perhaps the executives studie...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 245, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f sleep could be fulfilled by sleeping 6 hours, and hence, cannot be the general ...
^^
Line 5, column 291, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s, and hence, cannot be the general case universally. Considering this unstated a...
^^
Line 7, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...al perception of sleep rate: less than 6 or exactly 6 , which left the folks with...
^^
Line 7, column 221, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...of sleep rate: less than 6 or exactly 6 , which left the folks with greater than ...
^^
Line 7, column 264, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...which left the folks with greater than 6 hours unattempted. Apart of sleep rate...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: APART_A_PART[2]
Message: Wrong collocation. Did you mean 'apart from'?
Suggestion: Apart from
...th greater than 6 hours unattempted. Apart of sleep rate, the internal environment an...
^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 63, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...doctors prescription to sleep at least 6 hours a day, but author is failed to pro...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, hence, if, look, second, secondly, so, while, at least, no doubt

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1885.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 376.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01329787234 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40348946061 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76995346751 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529255319149 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 584.1 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.4978404092 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.8125 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5625 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193353486836 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0686577722001 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0717777112858 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0960475458156 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.057251377598 0.0628817314937 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

flaws:
the arguments are somehow duplicated.

other arguments wanted, like:

1. the sample size is not big enough

2. it works for one business, while it doesn't mean it will work for other businesses.

3. need to argue against the conclusion:

These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 377 350
No. of Characters: 1829 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.406 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.851 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.553 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5