The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument tries to implicate the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation based on a study conducted on eighteen rhesus monkeys. Though what the study suggests might be probable but it requires profound reasoning and appropriate details to come to a plausible conclusion.
Firstly the study was conducted on a very limited number of test subjects. The accuracy of the supposition would have increased if the number of subjects under test or examination would have been more and thus yielding more data clues, and more number of exceptional cases if they do exist in some of them. More over there is inadequate information about the rhesus monkeys on which the study was conducted. If the monkeys belonged to a single clan then there might have been some genetic dependencies that might further result into discrepancies in the acquired results. What it implies is that there may be different results due to the regional factors and the living conditions of the monkeys and would have substantiated the study by exploring the regional and habitat based dependencies if they did exist.
Secondly the mechanism of the production of the hormone cortisol on stimulations has not been appropriately delineated. There may be numerous other primary response to the stimulation and cortisol secretion might be a dependent secondary response.
Moreover the stimulation that elicits cortisol production needs more explanation. The level of stimulation or the type of stimulation that results into such secretion must be analyzed. Without the information about the stimulation we get a vague and generalized set of clues which are not significant enough to come to a concrete conclusion. The fact that the first pregnancy induces higher levels of cortisol does not serve as any explanation to the cortisol production and the stimulation level or types. It is just an observation.
The similarities between the cortisol secretion in humans and rhesus monkeys due to certain stimulations have been stated by the author. Though the similarities must be noted and there might be some relation between the two owing to the archaic ancestry we share with their kind but no definite relation between the two occurrences have been set by the author. That renders the above stated observations scientifically insipid and no inferences can be made from the same.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1964 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.155 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.936 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.918 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.316 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 408, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...nkeys on which the study was conducted. If the monkeys belonged to a single clan t...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...ght be a dependent secondary response. Moreover the stimulation that elicits cortisol p...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1994.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 381.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23359580052 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99370267433 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.488188976378 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 635.4 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1670003161 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.294117647 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4117647059 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.23529411765 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22780210987 0.218282227539 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.084247452093 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879124558939 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138034224818 0.128457276422 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0913625930209 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.