The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author concludes that the order of birth is responsible for amount of generation of cortisol which increases the activity level in stimulating conditions. He comes to the conclusion based on a research of eighteen rhesus monkey. However, before the persuasiveness of the argument be correctly measured the author must provide evidence to these three explanations.
Firstly, eighteen monkeys under study may not be the representation of whole group of monkeys. It is possible that the monkeys may be of a particular geography and the findings cannot be used to account the analysis of all monkeys. Also, the monkeys under consideration may include the first-born infant monkeys who have not before crossed across unknown monkeys that resulted in increases stimulation whereas the younger siblings may have encountered unfamiliar monkeys relatively more. If any of these scenarios has merit, then the conclusion of the argument is significantly weakened.
Secondly, there in not a modicum of proof that the study is scientific. The study may be conducted by a group of students so as to submit as a research for diploma program under no guidance of expert; findings of such study cannot be comprehensive as well as flawless. If this is the case or may be analogous to the actual case then the argument does not hold water.
Finally, the argument above unwarrantedly assumes that the generation of hormone is true for humans similar to monkeys. There is no evidence weather humans and monkey share same attribute. It may be true for some of the relative infants he has recently noticed but cannot strongly recommend that younger offspring have low level of stimulation.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is not plausible due to its reliance on unverified assumptions. These three explanations must be accountably evaluated based on a systematic study approach for the conclusion to be drawn precisely.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1579 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.11 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.955 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.218 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...ns. He comes to the conclusion based on a research of eighteen rhesus monkey. However, bef...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 226, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'monkey' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'monkeys'.
Suggestion: monkeys
... based on a research of eighteen rhesus monkey. However, before the persuasiveness of ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 123, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...may be conducted by a group of students so as to submit as a research for diploma progra...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 142, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
... a group of students so as to submit as a research for diploma program under no guidance o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 209, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...hare same attribute. It may be true for some of the relative infants he has recently notice...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, whereas, as to, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1622.0 2260.96107784 72% => OK
No of words: 309.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24919093851 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03364874129 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521035598706 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 516.6 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7932600081 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.133333333 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.6 5.70786347227 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154870131181 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0547444945774 0.0743258471296 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474991870009 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0868767516193 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0452632440946 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.18 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.