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The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal."A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situ

Essay topics: The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.

"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.

Av9ash's picture

The author avers that firstborn's have higher level of stimulation as compared to their siblings. To support this aversion author has presented evidence from study conducted over rhesus monkeys. While a good number of assumptions are present in the argument, several other alternative explanations can be provided for the stimulus behavior of children.

To begin with, it has been assumed that rhesus monkeys are very close to human beings, but we can infer from the details in the content that they are not. It is mentioned that on an encounter with an unknown monkey, the eldest child show increment in activity levels, similar behavior is very uncommon in human children. Human child weather eldest or youngest behave different than monkeys in vicinity of strangers. Mostly they tend to be passive and calm.

Moreover, the less calm reactions of rhesus can be explained by the fact that these species might feel protective towards their younger siblings, resulting in anxiety, the firstborns begin to show more activity. This reaction can be useful in daunting those monkey who might have deleterious intentions.

Additionally, the reaction of a human child on return of parent is mostly due to affection they have for the parents, the eldest children have had enjoyed the full attention of parents earlier, thus when the attention of parents get divided among siblings, the firstborns might be feeling left-out thus resulting in high levels of activity. But this reaction is not common among all the children. Younger child might show more excitement as compared to the eldest. As a matter of fact, the firstborns in a family are believed to be more composed than stimulus.

Conclusively, the stereotype view of author can be accounted to predilection of author to commit to his theory that the eldest siblings have larger stimulation as compared to the younger.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 378, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...her eldest or youngest behave different than monkeys in vicinity of strangers. Mostl...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, moreover, thus, while, as a matter of fact, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 304.0 441.139720559 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19078947368 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17559525986 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7043155083 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.539473684211 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 477.0 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.7967206226 57.8364921388 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.714285714 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.21428571429 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0861710138024 0.218282227539 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0329016361854 0.0743258471296 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0277443447795 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0502435841747 0.128457276422 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298334203508 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.94 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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