The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The arguments prove that the birth order will effect monkeys when they meet an individual's levels of stimulation. However, this arguments fail to rule out a series of alternative explanations and are therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the author claims that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol when they are stimulating. Nevertheless, the different amount of hormone cortisol may be influenced by different age. For example, the body size of ten years old animal will be large than five years old in the same species, and different size could have different ability to secrete the different amount of hormone that seems to be very normal. Thus, the difference could be explained by the body size or age, but it could is nothing about the order.
Second, the writer uses human to be an example to support the idea about the order. On the other hand, although we are similar to the monkeys in some aspects, we still are not the same species. We are very different in many places such as the number of fingers and joints. Therefore, the reason why humans and monkeys have the same phenomenon may be because of the coincide. On the other words, humans and monkeys might have the same situation with different factors.
Furthermore, the article states that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. However, the letter does not provide information about why the first-time mother with high cortisol has relevant to the firstborn child. Perhaps the first-time mother is because her body first time experience the pregnancy so that she has the different reaction, or it just effects by the mind of the mother, which means that first-time mother sometimes will more sensitive than other non-first-time mothers.
The above mentioned alternative explanations should be carefully thought about in evaluation the relationship between the reaction of stimulation and the birth order.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 327 350
No. of Characters: 1628 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.252 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.479 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.623 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 47, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...guments prove that the birth order will effect monkeys when they meet an individuals l...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 537, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'be'
Suggestion: be
...d by the body size or age, but it could is nothing about the order. Second, the w...
^^
Line 3, column 361, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...e the same phenomenon may be because of the coincide. On the other words, humans and monkeys...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 113, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...r levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring. However, the letter ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, such as, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1666.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 327.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09480122324 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7087931699 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.522935779817 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 521.1 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.142965862 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.066666667 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.73333333333 5.70786347227 171% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.100652234398 0.218282227539 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0424594235233 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624672842839 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0713450193897 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0524101912683 0.0628817314937 83% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.