The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author makes a claim regarding the effects of birth order on an individual's level of stimulation. there are several baseless assumptions made by the author and his statement is filled with gaps and holes. The author also makes several generalizations without considerable proof.
The author states that a recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues regarding the individual's level of stimulation. here, the study is made using only eighteen monkeys which is a very small sample size. it is possible that the levels of stimulation observed could be true only for these monkeys and hence, the author cannot generalize this observation to all monkeys. Moreover, the study is performed on rhesus monkeys which can be a rare breed of monkeys, thereby, exhibiting these levels of stimulation. hence, the author is not justified in making this generalization to other individuals.
In addition to the above flaw, the author makes a statement regarding the level of hormone cortisol in firstborn infants. there is no evidence to prove the reliability of the study which the author is using, to make his claims. The author also fails to describe the proper meaning of stimulating situations. since, the word stimulating can be interpreted in many ways, it is not clear which stimulating situations the author is describing about. The author also makes a comaprision of firstborn humans to firstborn infant monkeys. here, the author compares the behaviour of humans to monkeys. there is no reason for the behaviour of humans to be similar to that of monkeys and it might as well be a coincidence that the author observes a similar behaviour between monkeys and humans. hence, this similarity does not prove anything since the author fails to mention how humans and monkeys share similar characteristics.
Moreover, the author only mentions that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol as compared to their younger siblings. The author has not shown how the hormone cortisol is linked to an individual's level of stimulation. He has only stated that the hormone cortisol primes the body for increased activity levels. this could be true only in some activities and hence, the levels of cortisol cannot be taken in place of an individual's level of stimulation.
The author makes a comparision between the levels of cortisol in first-time mother monkeys and monkeys who had several offsprings. The level of cortisol observed in first time mother monkeys could only be true only in a few cases since the author has taken a very small sample set of eighteen monkeys. these monkeys could have exhibited some abnormal behaviour as compared to the other monkeys or humans. hence, the author again fails to provide appropriate evidence for his claims.
Therefore, we can summarize the statements made by the author as false claims since the author fails to support his claims with proper reasoning. we can conclude by saying that, it may or may not be true for birth order to affect an individual's level of stimulation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 502 350
No. of Characters: 2507 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.733 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.715 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.496 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.753 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.264 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 103, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...on an individuals level of stimulation. there are several baseless assumptions made b...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 129, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Here
...g the individuals level of stimulation. here, the study is made using only eighteen ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 216, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...keys which is a very small sample size. it is possible that the levels of stimulat...
^^
Line 7, column 519, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...exhibiting these levels of stimulation. hence, the author is not justified in making ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 123, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
... hormone cortisol in firstborn infants. there is no evidence to prove the reliability...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 309, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
...oper meaning of stimulating situations. since, the word stimulating can be interprete...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 532, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Here
...orn humans to firstborn infant monkeys. here, the author compares the behaviour of h...
^^^^
Line 13, column 594, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...res the behaviour of humans to monkeys. there is no reason for the behaviour of human...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 785, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...r behaviour between monkeys and humans. hence, this similarity does not prove anythin...
^^^^^
Line 19, column 349, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...the body for increased activity levels. this could be true only in some activities a...
^^^^
Line 25, column 303, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...y small sample set of eighteen monkeys. these monkeys could have exhibited some abnor...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 406, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ompared to the other monkeys or humans. hence, the author again fails to provide appr...
^^^^^
Line 31, column 147, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...pport his claims with proper reasoning. we can conclude by saying that, it may or ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, well, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2590.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 502.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1593625498 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79176355498 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.378486055777 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 810.0 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.4570950295 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 99.6153846154 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3076923077 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.15384615385 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.197518393931 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743855721339 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0942520124539 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124630150787 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0667408315221 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.32 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.