The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:"The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is esse

Essay topics:

The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:
"The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land ill be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population

The argument that Smith Corporation should not be given permission to develop land for building a small hotel is flawed. The author of environment protection group in his petition to the residents of Youngtown mentions that santuary is essential for the survival of 300 bird species. He further goes to tell that the Corporation people have assured the preservation but still it will have disastrous consequences and this sale will not benefit their community. The argument at first seeems convincing but when we study deeply, we discover a lot of loopholes in it.

The first loophole is that the author mentions that the sanctuary is essential for the survival of 300 birds in that area. The author assumes that the whole sanctuary is being occupied by those 300 birds. The author has not given any evidence of the total land area of the sanctuary and How much of it is being used by the birds? There might be some space which is free and unoccupied and thus wasted. In that case the Corporation could use it for construction of hotel.

The second loophole is that the author assumes that the proposed development will have disastrous consequences on their area. The author has nowhere mentioned as to How will it affect their area? What if the sanctuary is at a distance from the residents of Youngtown ? In that case, the construction work would not have any serious consequences on the area. Furthermore only a small part of the sanctuary is being alloted, which means the construction would be done in less time, and the people of Corporation might take safety measures to see to it that the construction does not endanger any bird species. So there would be no harm caused to either the birds or the residents.

The third loophole is that the author assumes that the sale will not benefit their community as it relies on tourists who visit the sanctuary. But the author fails to understand that if the hotel is near the sanctuary then all the tourists might want to visit the bird sanctuary. In that case, it will only lead to more monetary benefits to the community. As more tourists are attracted the bird sanctuary would also become famous as a tourist spot of Yountown. This would lead to not only tourists visiting the sanctuary but also local population.

The argument would be strengthened if the author had provided more details about the area the sanctuary covers and the proportion of the area utilised by the bird sanctuary. Also the author should give evidence of deterious consequences which could occur due to the construction of the hotel. As it stands however the argument is flawed.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 18, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The argument that Smith Corporation should not be given pe...
^^
Line 3, column 124, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...the survival of 300 birds in that area. The author assumes that the whole sanctuary...
^^^
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...y is being occupied by those 300 birds. The author has not given any evidence of th...
^^^
Line 5, column 359, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Furthermore,
...e any serious consequences on the area. Furthermore only a small part of the sanctuary is b...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 260, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hen all the tourists might want to visit the bird sanctuary. In that case, it wil...
^^
Line 7, column 358, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ore monetary benefits to the community. As more tourists are attracted the bird sa...
^^
Line 9, column 175, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...he area utilised by the bird sanctuary. Also the author should give evidence of dete...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'then', 'third', 'thus', 'as to']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.247379454927 0.25644967241 96% => OK
Verbs: 0.167714884696 0.15541462614 108% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0545073375262 0.0836205057962 65% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0461215932914 0.0520304965353 89% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0356394129979 0.0272364105082 131% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.123689727463 0.125424944231 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0461215932914 0.0416121511921 111% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.66860670171 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0272536687631 0.026700313972 102% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.150943396226 0.113004496875 134% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0398322851153 0.0255425247493 156% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0125786163522 0.0127820249294 98% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2615.0 2731.13054187 96% => OK
No of words: 450.0 446.07635468 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.81111111111 6.12365571057 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.57801047555 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.297777777778 0.378187486979 79% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.233333333333 0.287650121315 81% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195555555556 0.208842608468 94% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.12 0.135150697306 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66860670171 2.79052419416 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 207.018472906 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.408888888889 0.469332199767 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 44.7187546638 52.1807786196 86% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.039408867 115% => OK
Sentence length: 19.5652173913 23.2022227129 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.828561933 57.7814097925 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.695652174 141.986410481 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5652173913 23.2022227129 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.565217391304 0.724660767414 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 3.58251231527 195% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 42.8985507246 51.9672348444 83% => OK
Elegance: 1.67226890756 1.8405768891 91% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.573802026812 0.441005458295 130% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.13791637744 0.135418324435 102% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.100857242052 0.0829849096947 122% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.590508334715 0.58762219726 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.147320631976 0.147661913831 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.25678864667 0.193483328276 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107145071348 0.0970749176394 110% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.595850588479 0.42659136922 140% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0496048398975 0.0774707102158 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.440155289027 0.312017818177 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0282879559723 0.0698173142475 41% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.82512315271 187% => Less neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 8.0 2.82389162562 283% => OK
Total topic words: 21.0 14.657635468 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.