The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten year budget for the city of Calatrava The birthrate in our city is declining in fact last year s birthrate was only one half that of five years ago Thus the number of students enroll | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Since the birthrate is declining the number of students will automatically decrease in next few years. The committee also states that reducing funds from specific funds can be used for the city facilities and programs. However, before the recommendation is properly evaluated, 3 questions must be answered.
The committee claims that the birthrate has decreased. The question arises what are the reasons behind it? It is assumed that may be the facilities provided in the city are not adequate. There is a possibility that citizens of city Calatrava do not earn enough to survive with the basic necessities and may be the government facilities are not reaching up to them. The budget plan provided for the city has reduction in education sector. Education is said to be the key to grow in every aspect, reducing the funds will take away the possibility of citizens situated in the city to grow. The committee should look in to the fact that what is the main reason behind the reduction and then the budget can be accordingly planned. If the above is true, then the argument does not hold the water.
The athletic playing fields are not much funded will it be appropriate to reduce the chances of the country to win? Since it is observed that there is a reduction in the birthrate the committee assumes that there will be less upcoming players who will be actually using the funds. It is presumed that, there might be the possibility that there is less awareness of sports and athletics in the city. Which, if it is at all done many children and adults might end up with getting into the athletics and sports. Future is unpredictable, and with that what if there is unpredictable rise in the birthrate gradually then the budget which has reduced the funds will be not be helpful for the citizens of the city. It will definitely give roots to multiple issues in the coming future for both government and the citizens. If either of these scenarios has merit, the conclusion drawn in the original argument is weaken.
In conclusion the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the committee is able to answer the questions above and offer more evidence then it will be possible to fully evaluate.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since the birthrate is declining the number o...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aluated, 3 questions must be answered. The committee claims that the birthrate ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 299, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
... do not earn enough to survive with the basic necessities and may be the government facilities ar...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the argument does not hold the water. The athletic playing fields are not much...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 924, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
...usion drawn in the original argument is weaken. In conclusion the ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...wn in the original argument is weaken. In conclusion the argument, as it stands...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 223, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...questions above and offer more evidence then it will be possible to fully evaluate. ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, also, however, if, look, may, so, then, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1877.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 390.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81282051282 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71282657166 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.471794871795 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 598.5 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.5207411663 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.85 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13567573174 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0484303018507 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0515108448469 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0905021480505 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0579634588345 0.0628817314937 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, also, however, if, look, may, so, then, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments