The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing During the past year Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on the job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant where the work shifts are one hour shorter than our | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

As stated in the memo, on the job accidents are 30 percent more in Quiot manufacturing than in nearby Panoply Industries Plant, which has one hour shorter work shifts than Quiot Manufacturing. The Vice President assumes that shortening the work shifts will help to reduce the on the job accidents as the employees will get adequate amounts of sleep. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated, two questions must be answered.
First of all, are the working hours main reason behind the on the job accidents? There might be several other reasons for the same which are not taken into consideration by the Vice President. The Panoply industries as mentioned has work shifts one hour shorter than Quiot Manufacturing, since it’s a manufacturing industry machinery and equipment plays crucial role in the same. It is possible that the equipments and machineries used by the Quoit Manufacturing are not that efficient or feasible to use. For example, if the machines are not given the required servicing and maintainance then there are high chances that accidents may occur due to the same and the employee cannot really help for this. If either of these scenarios has merit, then conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weaken.
Second of all, what if employees are not well trained to use such heavy machineries? Because one should be properly skilled in order to work in the manufacturing industry with such advanced and life threatening machines. For example, there is a technical issue and the one who has been appointed to resolve the issue is not well trained then there are high chances of something going wrong with the wires, equipment used by the technician. If the above is true then the argument does not hold the water.
Vice president assumes improvement in the workshift leads to reduce the accidents; it may be partially true. The environment inside the manufacturing industry plays an important role in here. Proper break time to take rest from the shift, water-tea breaks to relax and some other facilities for the employees. Reduction in work shift is a good idea as employees will be all fresh and will work with great efficiency to provide optimum utilization of the resources. On the contrary, if the employee is not keeping well what are the services provided? Is he offered with paid leave or without paid leave? Because, it will bring him to work with not in state of rendering his services. And at this point of the the work shift which is reduced might not be helpful for him as he is not in the state of working in the first place.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of systematic research study) then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the memo.

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Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uated, two questions must be answered. First of all, are the working hours main...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 816, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
... the original argument is significantly weaken. Second of all, what if emplo...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...inal argument is significantly weaken. Second of all, what if employees are not...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 449, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ires, equipment used by the technician. If the above is true then the argument doe...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the argument does not hold the water. Vice president assumes improvement in th...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 609, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... with paid leave or without paid leave? Because, it will bring him to work with not in ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 710, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ring his services. And at this point of the the work shift which is reduced might not b...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 710, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ring his services. And at this point of the the work shift which is reduced might not b...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... state of working in the first place. In conclusion, the argument, as it stand...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, really, second, so, then, well, for example, in conclusion, first of all, on the contrary, in the first place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2434.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 496.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90725806452 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77651347109 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487903225806 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 760.5 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.7727886897 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.826086957 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5652173913 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.82608695652 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.292286759758 0.218282227539 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0792321663835 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.139617441578 0.0701772020484 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170886589999 0.128457276422 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.150249432042 0.0628817314937 239% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, really, second, so, then, well, for example, in conclusion, first of all, on the contrary, in the first place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments