The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The recommendation comittee for the city of calatrava suggests that since there will be an overall decrease in the population of children along with an increase in the population of adults, the funds currently directed towards education, athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities can be diverted towards the programs used primarily by adults. this comittee bolsters this argument by citing that last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Before taking any serious action, we must analyse the following three evidences missing in the argument
First, we must figure out the number of abortions, miscarriages, and sale of contraceptive pills. The comittee states, without evidence, that the number of children will decrease in the upcoming years. this is based on the assumption that since the birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago, the birthrate for the upcomming years will follow the same trend. it may have happened that last year, the birthrate may have declined due to an increase in the number of abortions, miscarriages and sale of contraceptive pills. number of abortions and contraceptive pills may also have increase in case there was a lethal epidemic outburst last year, preventing people from visiting hospitals for purposes such as pregnancy. Hence acting on the recommendation without confirming these numbers may be a foolhardy task.
Second, we need to find the age group and the number of immigrants expected to arrive in the city of calatrava. Even if last year was a normal year, t may also be possible that there is an expected increase in the number of immigrant families with children in the upcoming years which would lead to a surge in the demand for schools. if the age of the immigrants is around 30 years and they are expecting to have a child in the next year or two, a decrease in the funding to the public schools may have a detrimental effect on their plans, thereby boding ill for the city of calatrava itself. Accordingly it becomes imperative to figure out not only the expected number of immigrant families in the upcoming years but also the age of individuals in those families.
last but not the least, we must find out the type of athletic playing fields present in the city of calatrava. if these fields are catering to the needs to adults, removing funding for such fields may not be a prudent decision.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to few missing evidences. if the committe is able to provide the three aforementioned missing evidences (perhaps via systematic research or survys) then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the recommendation by the planning committee.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2227 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.762 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 41.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.71 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.818 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.678 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.196 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... the programs used primarily by adults. this comittee bolsters this argument by citi...
^^^^
Line 1, column 417, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'years'' or 'year's'?
Suggestion: years'; year's
...sters this argument by citing that last years birthrate was only one-half that of fiv...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 203, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...en will decrease in the upcoming years. this is based on the assumption that since t...
^^^^
Line 4, column 368, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...mming years will follow the same trend. it may have happened that last year, the b...
^^
Line 4, column 530, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Number
...riages and sale of contraceptive pills. number of abortions and contraceptive pills ma...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 727, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...spitals for purposes such as pregnancy. Hence acting on the recommendation without co...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 335, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...d to a surge in the demand for schools. if the age of the immigrants is around 30 ...
^^
Line 7, column 594, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Accordingly,
...g ill for the city of calatrava itself. Accordingly it becomes imperative to figure out not...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
...of individuals in those families. last but not the least, we must find out the...
^^^^
Line 10, column 112, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ields present in the city of calatrava. if these fields are catering to the needs ...
^^
Line 13, column 75, Rule ID: TO_TOO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
... stands now, is considerably flawed due to few missing evidences. if the committe ...
^^
Line 13, column 101, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ly flawed due to few missing evidences. if the committe is able to provide the thr...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, hence, if, may, second, so, then, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2287.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 454.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03744493392 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81941509481 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.449339207048 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 717.3 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 70.5557182303 57.8364921388 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.9375 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.375 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.4375 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.365287583224 0.218282227539 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124891632526 0.0743258471296 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117503103399 0.0701772020484 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177708174052 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106086683393 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.